Gaara's Dilemma
by Fire and Sand
Summary: Gaara wants to meet Shikamaru! Temari couldn't help but wonder why. She certainly isn't dating him! Or is she...? If she doesn't know, then who does? Gaara? TemarixShika
1. Pros and Cons

Sand: (Screams and punches air with tight fist) FINALLY!

Gaara: (Raises eyebrow) ...

Sand: You can't raise an eyebrow. You don't have any! (Attempts to hug Gaara but runs into a sand wall. Twitches on the ground) I'm okay...

Gaara: (Sweatdrops) ...

Sand: (Gets up quickly) Yosh! This is my first fanfic! I'm so... Ah...whatever. I only put one out so that people would stop thinking that I'm Fire.

Sand (thinks): Fire is so annoying. She's worse than Mi-chan from Furuba who always bugs Shigure to write his novels... (consult Fruits Basket if you don't know who these people are)

Fire: (glares at sand)

Sand: (Ignores Fire and turns to face the audience very quickly) Oh, yeah! Sabaku no Gaara is my co-writer. (Turns very slowly to look at Gaara)

Gaara: (Sweatdrops and narrows eyes) ...

Sand: He doesn't talk much but he's sooooooooooooooo kawaii! (Attempts to hug Gaara again and does) Yay!

Gaara: (Eyes round and dissolve into sand) ...

Sand: Eh! (Picks up a white hankerchief, some rope and a bottle of chloroform) You're not going to get away that easily! (Runs out of the room and chases Gaara all the way from Konoha (where Fire lives) to Suna (where Sand lives)

Temari (sweatdrops): I'm surprised Gaara didn't kill her yet.

Sasuke: (ignoring everyone, especially Sand and Gaara) On with the story...

0o0o0o0

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even this fanfic. ... Actually, I do own this fanfic, but I don't own Naruto in any way... Unless I steal it from Kishimoto-san... Hmm... No. It's just easier not to own Naruto. I don't want the Kyuubi (ie Naruto). I want Shukaku (ie Gaara)!

0o0o0o0

**Legend**

"speaking"

_'thought'_

**_Shukaku/Kyuubi speech_**

0o0o0o0 (change in time or scene)

0o0o0o0

**A Sand Project**

**Gaara's Dilemma**

**Chapter 1: Pros and Cons**

Nara Shikamaru...

Con: He's lazy.

Pro: He's smart.

Con: He's weird.

Pro: He's organized and plans things out.

Con: He's around all the time.

Pro: Temari-neechan makes weird requests to see him and takes Kankuro with her.

Con: She doesn't take Kankuro with her all the time.

Pro: I can work the guy like a mule when he's in Suna.

Con: His excuses to be here are weird as well.

Pro: I can make him study other Hidden Village secret techniques from old video tapes and figure out how they work.

Con: He only knows two techniques.

Pro: The techniques that he knows are only known through his family.

Con: He's seems old.

Pro: He already knows how the secret techniques of Konoha works.

Pro: He's the first male shinobi to defeat Temari-neechan in a match.

Con: He's unmotivated as a shinobi.

Pro: He knows when to step up to fight in a battle.

Con: He's dating Temari-neechan.

Pro: Her dating him makes her happy.

Con: They both wouldn't admit to being a couple.

Pro: Their denials and faces give it away that they like each other.

Con: He's a chuunin.

Pro: She's a jounin.

Con: He's younger than her (in age and rank).

Pro: All of the guys who are the same age as Temari are afraid of her.

Con: This is why no guys (the same age as her) ask her out on dates.

Pro: Nee-chan works hard on her missions to see him on her days off.

Con: I don't know what she does at Konoha with him.

Pro: She doesn't tell me what she does with him at Konoha.

Con: She doesn't stop talking about him.

Pro: She's more focused after returning from Konoha.

Con: Temari forgets her mission in Konoha when he's around.

Pro: He can help me with my paperwork when he's in Suna.

Con: She thinks about him all the time.

Pro: She studies more to get smarter than him.

Con: She becomes brain-dead around the guy.

Pro: She's quiet when she's brain-dead.

Con: Her dreamy-eyed ogling is annoying.

Pro: She beats Kankuro when he insults him.

Con: She becomes scarier with him and Kankuro around.

Pro: He fears me.

Con: He fears me.

Pro: I can kill him anytime.

Con: This'll make nee-chan hate me.

Pro: He wouldn't question my authority.

Con: He's a loser.

Pro: He's not as big of a loser as Kankuro.

Con: He wouldn't do anything without being ordered and kicked.

Pro: He listens to nee-chan.

Con: Another loser around Sunagakure.

_SIGH_...

Pro: He knows how and when to keep his mouth shut.

Con: He knows about Shukaku.

Pro: He finds gossiping too troublesome.

Con: He finds everything too troublesome.

Pro: He's useful in making up plans and strategies during a battle.

Con: He's not strong.

Pro: He isn't loud.

Con: He's Naruto's friend.

Pro: He's Naruto's friend.

Con: He's a coward.

Pro: I can use him as a punching bag.

Con: This will make nee-chan angry.

Pro: If Temari-neechan beats me up, the medic-nins in Sunagakure are well-trained.

Con: He might report my beating him to Godaime Hokage.

Pro: He's too afraid of me to tattle.

Con: Godaime Hokage has a very powerful punch.

_Shivers at the thought._

Pro: She wouldn't hit me since I'm the Godaime Kazekage.

Con: She would do it indirectly.

Pro: She wouldn't hit me too hard.

Con: His teammates are stupid and dumb.

Pro: They're easy to control.

Con: The loud, blond girl is annoying.

Pro: She isn't as loud as Naruto.

Con: She reminds me of Naruto.

Pro: I can tolerate Naruto's loud and annoying nature.

Con: I can't tolerate her.

Pro: I can work her like a mule as well.

Con: This'll make her louder and more annoying.

Pro: She's too afraid of me to do anything.

Con: The fat, round boy eats all of my food.

Pro: He stops when I stare at him.

Con: Shikamaru is average.

_Taps pencil on desk in contemplation._

Pro: Temari-neechan really likes this boy.

Pro: He likes her as well.

'_...'_ Gaara had to think for a moment before he scribbled down...

Con: He won't confess this.

Con: Neither will she.

_Long-winded and exasperated sigh..._

"KNOCK! KNOCK!"

"Gaara, you shouldn't work so hard," said the blond kunoichi as she entered the room holding a tray of tea. "You should rest—what are you doing?"

The young, red-haired boy with light green eyes, quickly covered the scrolls with sand and rolled them up underneath the sand blanket as he noticed his sister's wide-eyed curiousity at the two scrolls lying open on his desk with the big, black, bold letters 'Nara Shikamaru' on top, then more words saying 'pros' on one side and 'cons' on the other. "Nothing."

'_Che, I think she saw the scrolls,'_ Gaara thought nervously as his older sister looked at his face scrutinizingly.

'_Nothing... Gaara's same old excuse for everything...' _Temari sighed, her eyes closed and head tilted back, a large sweatdrop on her head as she placed her hands to her hips.

"What do you want, Temari-neechan?" Gaara asked quickly changing the subject with his usual stoic, expressionless face as his sand opened the desk drawer, deposited the two scrolls inside then stealthily but very quickly closed it.

Temari straightened, crossed her arms across her chest and said genuinely, "Nothing...I thought that you've been working very hard inside of your office so you might like some tea."

Relieved and sighing mentally, Gaara picked up the little blue tea cup and took a sip. "Arigatou."

'_Good, she didn't noticed anything...'_

'_What is Gaara up to? I saw Shikamaru's name on the two scrolls with one labeled "pros" and the other "cons". I thought that he liked the fact that we're going out...although we're technically not...'_ Temari wondered inquisitively as she watched her little brother take another sip from the small cup. _'He covered the scrolls up so quickly and then changed the subject. That is so unlike him. WHAT IS HE DOING!'_

With the thought grating against her nerves, Temari ventured a question. "Gaara...I was just wondering, what were you exactly doing before I entered?" It's up to him to decide to answer it or not; after all, he was her youngest brother...and hardest to pry information from.

Light green eyes met slightly darker green eyes as Gaara finished an exceedingly long sip, placed his cup down gingerly and said again in his monotonous voice to the girl's expectant face, "Nothing."

Temari, feeling a little deflated and even more curious, expected the response since she knew that he wouldn't willingly give her a direct answer. _'I knew it. He's still the same after all these years. However...he's also a little different. He no longer sees himself as a monster and that fight with Naruto some years back during the Chuunin Exams in Konoha was what changed him. He's easier to talk to and he actually talks back. He's less scary and actually tries to help people. He still kills but he doesn't do it for fun. He wants to protect those that he cares about. Although he would never admit it...' _Temari was completely lost in thought, had forgotten what she was supposed to be thinking about...

She didn't even notice Gaara scribble something down on a blank piece of paper and stamp it.

"I want to meet Nara Shikamaru."

Shaking her head to clear her mind, Temari stared at Gaara wide-eyed. "Nani! Um...I mean why do you want to meet him, Gaara..." A small, shaky smile crossed her face. _'What is Gaara up to? And why am I acting like I'm going to show my boyfriend to Otousama. Wait a second...DID I JUST CALL THAT BUM MY BOYFRIEND!'_ Gaara didn't respond. He simply handed his sister the document. "I want to meet Nara Shikamaru." Temari fidgeted a little in her place as she took the invitation. With a slight nod, the spiky-blond girl was out the door.

0o0o0o0

Kankuro was walking down the hall, whistling to himself when something knocked into him, sending him flying out the window. "Out of my way!"

Landing about three stories down, Kankuro was lying sprawled on the ground. His head was spinning. Temari ran out of the Kazekage Palace, looked down at her brother's broken carcass, shook her head in disappointment and nudged him with her foot before flying down the street towards the Main Gates.

Kankuro slowly got up while rubbing the back of his head with one hand. _'What's wrong with Temari today?'_ If not for Karasu, whom he had quickly summoned, Kankuro would've died from the fall. Sighing, he went back inside and straight towards the Kazekage Office. _'If I try to figure out Temari's mood swings, I'll go crazy_.'

**End Chapter 1**

0o0o0o0

After thought:

Sand: (runs up breathing very heavily, carrying an unconscious Gaara) Hi... _"wheeze"_ You can't kill me that easily! (plops Gaara into a cushioned chair) I won't die before Fire!

Fire: (picks up Sasuke and walks out of the room)

Everyone: ...

Sand: (ducks a fireball flying toward Sand's head) ... Uh... So what did you all think of my story? (smiles very widely)

Temari: THAT BUM ISN'T MY BOYFRIEND!

Shikamaru (thought): I hate women... Especially overbearing women...

Sand: (smiles shakily) But you look so---

Temari: (swings her fan around, trying to knock Sand unconscious)

Sand: (ducks and hides behind Gaara) You won't hit Gaara! He'll kill you!

Temari: (sizzles in anger and stomps out of the room)

Shikamaru: Don't get me into this. It's too troublesome. (walks out of the room)

Sand: (waving hand) Save me a seat on the hill! Don't worry, I won't forget to do chapter two.

Shikamaru: (ignores Sand) ...

Sand (thought): Gaara won't wake up... (cries worriedly) Did I use too much chloroform?

Fire: (walks in with smelling salts)

Sasuke: (runs up to Gaara and kicks him in the stomach)

Sand: (shocked wide-eyed) !

Fire: I'll wake him up... (pulls Sasuke forcefully out of the way)

Sasuke: (mumbling under breath) Bakayaro...sleeping on the job...

Fire: (swipes smelling salts under Gaara's nose) ...

Sand: (seething with ignormous killer intent directed at Sasuke) ...

Sasuke: (looks nervously at Sand and runs to hide behind Fire) ... (sweats)

Fire: (turns to Sand) He's awake.

Sand: (still seething with ignormous killer intent) ...

Gaara (thoughts): Why does my stomach hurt?

Fire: Well...ja! (grabs Sasuke and quickly runs out of the room)

Sand: (mumbling and babbling) I'm going to kill him... I'm going to kill him! I don't care if he has the Sharingan... I'm going to kill...

Gaara: Chapter two in four weeks... (turns and glares at Sand) Did you kick me?

Kankuro: (cries and hugs Karasu with sad music playing in the background) Sand forgot about me...

Sasuke: (disembodied voice) What's going to happen next? Will Temari give the invitation to her boyfriend?

Temari: (from outside the room) HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!

Sasuke: (ignoring Temari and continuing) Or will she try to hide it from him? What does Gaara want with Shikamaru?

Shikamaru: (from outside the room) Hopefully not to kill me...

Sasuke: (ignoring Shikamaru and continuing) Will he actually kill Shikamaru? Tune in next time for Chapter two of Gaara's Dilemma.

Fire: (disembodied voice) You sound like a T.V. announcer.

Sasuke: (yelling) Urusai! I said to tune in next time, so tune in next time, dammit! You'd better tune in next time or...

Fire: (yelling) Look! The Sharingan!

Everyone: ...We can't see it...

Sasuke: (holding back anger) Just tune in next time. Come back in four weeks. Review. Blah...blah...blah...things that Sand forgot to say...

Gaara: (uses sand to hold Sand back) I already told the audience to come back and so did Sand.

Sand: (still going crazy) I'm going to kill you! Sasuke-chan!

Sasuke: (grumbles under breath) Who cares? Repetition is a good thing... (louder to the audience) Ja...for now.


	2. Invitation

Sand's babbling:

Sand: (looks around) Sasuke… Come out, come out where ever you are…

Gaara: What are you doing?

Sand: (turns to Gaara and raises a finger to mouth) Shhh… I'm hunting Uchiha.

Gaara: (sweatdrops) You need a psychiatrist.

Fire: (pops head into the room) Did you say psychiatrist?

Sand: (sweatdrops and throws a kunai at Fire) I don't need a psychiatrist!

Fire: (dodging the kunai and mumbling under breath) Probably can't help you anyway… Let's go Sasuke. (walks away)

Sasuke: Um…Sand's coming… (runs away with Fire following after him)

Sand: (eyes widen) Uchiha! (runs after Fire)

Gaara: (shakes head disappointingly) Well, on with the story.

0o0o0o0

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto blah blah blah… The rights are reserved only to Kishimoto-san blah blah blah… Akatsuki placed Shukaku inside of Sand blah blah blah…

0o0o0o0

**Legend**

See chapter 1

0o0o0o0

**Chapter 2: Invitation**

Temari panted, wheezed heavily as she approached the tall gates of Konoha, her mind set on a dark-brown haired, lazy chuunin. She trotted towards the Academy but stopped when the little white envelope fell out of her pocket. Looking down at the rectangular, folded piece of paper with its Kazekage seal, Temari breathed in deep. She had contemplated on many different scenarios of how to give the letter to him…like leaving it in his mail box, which would be too awkward since it was an official invitation, or dropping it on his head while gliding on her fan, which would be bad since he might throw it away...or worse, he might think that it's a love letter from some fangirl!

A shiver went down Temari's spine before she gently slipped the envelope back inside her pocket. Her mind dawned on what day it was...

'_He better not be sleeping on a mountain of papers...'_

With the thought still fresh in her mind, the blond kunoichi sped down the street towards the Academy, careful not to bump into anyone.

0o0o0o0

Out on a tall, grassy hill, under the shade of a tree, a slumped figure with dark-brown hair could be seen with his face pointed at the sky and his eyes half-closed. The chuunin vest on his back stirred as he heard the sound of footsteps in the short grass. He turned his spiky pony-tailed head lazily to look at the person who approached him, a frown on his face.

"I knew you'd be here." The person sat down next to the boy and looked up at the clouds.

Shikamaru only shrugged at the person, then turned his head back to the gradually crawling clouds. The wind wasn't blowing too hard so they weren't moving very fast.

'_Kuso...why did I accept a troublesome job like Academy examiner? There's too many troublesome papers to read and too many troublesome papers to sign and too many troublesome hitai-ate to prepare and too many troublesome— Ah...why am I thinking of these troublesome things...?'_

The whining inside Shikamaru's head ended with a very long yawn. The dark-haired chuunin closed his half-lidded eyes and tried to forget everything that he had just thought of...but he found it too troublesome so he tried to fall asleep.

Shikamaru was really a _chuunin_ examiner, not an Academy sensei. When there wasn't a chuunin exam or when there weren't any missions for him to do, he was placed in the Academy to teach. He found work at the Hokage tower too troublesome...since the Hokage was always asleep...

The Academy just had an exam for new genin and he was helping out...

"You know...you're a chuunin now, so you should really set a better example for the new genin and academy students."

The wind began to pick up. Autumn wasn't the ideal time to be sitting on top of a hill, cloud watching…even if it was a clear and sunny day.

"Iruka-sensei..."

The brown-haired man turned his scarred nose away from the clouds, towards the boy at his side to see...Shikamaru snoring fast asleep. The sight irked him and caused his left eyebrow to twitch uncontrollably with suppressed anger.

"Shikamaru!" The yell could've been heard for at least a kilometer away.

The boy stirred and opened his eyes lazily again. "How troublesome… I was about to take a short nap..." The boy groaned, yawning loudly again.

Iruka held up a tight fist. His face contorted angrily. He was thinking of assigning extra paperwork to punish the laziest chuunin in Konoha, but Shikamaru would probably come up with a smart excuse to get out of it…and the situation would grow bigger and bigger until hundreds of complaints flooded the Hokage Tower.

"Iruka-sensei..."

Iruka's anger subsided a little to give the boy his undivided attention.

"...I thought that being a chuunin examiner would be less dangerous than going out on missions but it's a lot more troublesome than leading a pack of genin or chuunin..." Shikamaru grumbled as he stared at the creeping clouds.

'_Anko-san gets way too carried away in the chuunin exams...' _A shiver shook his entire body._ 'Like the last one...'_

_In the Forest of Death, gigantic snakes, man-eating plants, venomous insects and animals, as well as a whole bunch of other gruesome and horrifying creatures resided. But the scariest of them all was..._

"_Yosh! Everyone to their gates!" A short, violet-haired woman shouted the signal to open the assigned gates. "Don't get killed!" The smile plastered on her face scared everyone more than the lurking unknown of the forest._

_Shortly after all the surviving genin teams from the first exam entered, screams could be heard from as far away as the Hokage tower. Anko really wanted to test out this year's new batch of victims, especially after the Orochimaru incident two years ago._

_Three days had quickly flown by. Only a handful of genin teams made it to the tower...safely... _

"_I think that time's up." Anko looked at her watch as she slipped another dango ball into her mouth. "Oi!" Several teams of chuunin examiners appeared at her side, Shikamaru included. "Help the genin who didn't pass." The same scary smile was plastered on her face. It reminded Shikamaru of Orochimaru. The smile of a snake._

_The chuunin examiners scattered throughout the forest. They found several dead bodies, some half eaten near the middle of the forest from the tower. Most of the genin who died were from smaller villages like Amegakure or Takigakure._

_In the end, scraps of about five teams of genin were found alive. The lost of their friends and comrades had traumatized them. A few even wanted to quit being a shinobi, and did._

"_The forest hasn't changed much over the years." A chuunin next to Shikamaru picked up a bloodied arm clenching a scratched Iwagakure hitai-ate in its few remaining fingers. Fresh red blood was still dripping from the dismembered limb. "It always absorbs so many promising genin every year..." His voice was sad, his eyes downcast._

_Shikamaru didn't say anything. He didn't want to think about the forest. There were too many bad memories... _

_An image of Sasuke snickering as he dislocated Zaku's arms flashed through his mind, the sickening crack of bones unhinging from their sockets, and the high-pitched scream of agony shortly afterwards. The cursed seal imprints marked about half of his entire body._

_When the remaining chuunin examiners exited the forest, Anko wasn't smiling anymore. She hadn't expected so many dead._

Shikamaru gave a sigh. He didn't want to remember such painful memories... Why was he doing something as troublesome as that...?

Iruka's eyes widened, then softened as he considered what the boy had said. _'A chuunin examiner sees a lot more horrifying sights than a regular chuunin in the Academy... He must have seen something bad on the last exam.'_

Iruka had heard from Naruto about Shikamaru's first leadership experience shortly after becoming a chuunin, when they had to bring Sasuke back to Konoha. The young chuunin really blamed himself for the failure and potential deaths of his friends. Who wouldn't have if he had endangered his friends' lives due to a miscalculation?

"Shikamaru..." Iruka had no idea what to say to his chuunin colleague. But, he wouldn't have gotten the chance to...

"Ninpou Kamaitachi!"

Shikamaru quickly jumped to his feet and turned to escape…but it was too late. A large gust of wind swept him off his feet. Luckily, Iruka had jumped safely into the tree when he sensed the intense killer intent approaching.

"Ja ne, Shikamaru! Say hi to Temari-san for me!" Within a swirl of leaves, Iruka waved a hand, a smile on his face as he disappeared.

"Matte! Iruka-sensei!" Shikamaru tried to stop his former Academy sensei from leaving him alone with the enraged kunoichi. At least with a second chuunin there, he might have stood a chance at surviving.

The dread of what she was going do to him ran rampant inside of his head. Thousands of possibilities made his entire body quake with fear. _'Aw...how troublesome. I just wanted to watch the clouds in peace...' _ The whining inside Shikamaru's head continued for a few minutes longer. He was a little perplexed by his unexpected visitor.

'_Why is she here anyway? She was just here a few days ago...'_ Shikamaru was hiding behind the tree. He had scrambled away from the full blow of the attack, but it was enough to jolt him from his place.

"Oi! I know you're hiding behind the tree. Come out and face me like a man!" Temari sighed as she closed and replaced the large fan on her back.

'_Mattaku...I saw you jump up. You can't hide that fast...'_ She was breathing pretty hard from running around, looking for the worthless chuunin.

_Bursting through the doors, Temari ran into every room, looking for a particular lazy chuunin. She wasn't expecting him to be inside any of the classrooms since the academy students had recently had an exam, so he should be grading the test papers or doing other conclusions like a normal examiner after an exam, right? Right...?_

"_Shikamaru!" Temari roared down the halls. "Where are you! Bakayaro!_"

_When she approached the examiner's room, another examiner yelled back at her. "Oi! Shikamaru's not here! He left right after his shougi match with all the chuunin examiners this morning!" _

_Temari screeched to a halt when she heard the word 'shougi'. Her eyes widened. Her anger meter shot through the roof. "What did you say...?"_

_The chuunin examiner cowered a little. He was in tears after losing to the laziest chuunin in Konoha and now he was afraid that the blond-haired kunoichi might turn her anger towards him. As irrational as it was, he was in a negative state of mind. It just might happen._

'_I can't believe that stupid guy! He was supposed to take his job more seriously when I left...and now I find out he's been slacking off and playing shougi!' _

_The thoughts that ran through her mind were too gruesome to say. The chuunin had promised that he would try to make an effort to do something useful before she left...and games were not useful. At least not in Shikamaru's case._

"_He...he didn't leave that long ago," the chuunin examiner stammered warily, wiping the tears from his face when he saw the blond kunoichi calm down a little. "He left around noon." _

_Everyone knew that Shikamaru was practically married to the girl, although he didn't care whether people thought this or not. The only reason why the enraged blond would even be allowed into the academy was to whip the chuunin's butt. He didn't do much of anything without being told by the other examiners...then they'd find out that he fell asleep and didn't do it at all. Even during actual exams!_

'_He's probably at that hill with the tree. I'm so going to beat the stuffing out of him!' Temari fumed as she rushed past the chuunin. _

"_That baka!" With the blond gone, the academy became quiet once again._

Shikamaru stepped out of the tree's shadow and quickly raised a hand in peaceful greeting.

But Temari didn't respond. She dismissed the gesture and sat down silently under the tree to look up at the clouds. Her sudden change in behaviour was unnerving. She was quiet…too quiet.

The kunoichi was normally a great listener and conversationalist, but her behaviour today was weird...and that scared Shikamaru even more than when she tried to attack him. At least, the attack was _normal_.

Whenever she visited Konoha, she would normally give him a friendly whack on the head when she found him. Then they would stare up at the clouds, even if there weren't any in the sky, and talk about her trip, or further plans to strengthen the two villages, or some other event that had happened that day.

But, Temari was never quiet _and_ calm at the same time.

Shikamaru lay down next to the girl and stared at the sky. There was an immense silence. It was as if time had stopped everything but the slow motion of the clouds.

'_Uggh...how am I supposed to ask him…?' _Temari was immersed in thought._ 'It was more of a request than a mission... And I was just here a few days ago.' _Her hand clasped, then released the little envelope inside her pocket convulsively. _'What should I say...?' _Her hands were clammy with sweat as the uncomfortable question burned a hole in her head._ 'And why am I acting so weird around this guy? It IS only Shikamaru..._'

"Why are you here, Temari?" Shikamaru broke the long silence between them.

Temari was silent.

The question hung heavily in the air as the wind picked up in the gathering darkness of dusk.

'_She probably forgot to do something last time she was here...again. But if this was true…why is she wasting her time here, with me?'_ Shikamaru was waiting for her answer.

It was a good thing that he wasn't an impatient person because anyone else would have thrown a fit by now. Twenty minutes had gone by and Temari was still silent.

Actually, Shikamaru found impatience too troublesome so he didn't care how long it took for the girl to respond, but waiting for an hour for a troublesome response to a simple question was grating at his nerves.

"Is it about the improvements I gave you?" He couldn't wait any longer. He needed to go home, and being a man, he couldn't leave a girl alone at night...even if the girl was a powerful jounin. "I couldn't think of a better landscape improvement for Sunagak—"

"Why were you being lazy?" Temari sighed, interrupting his sentence before he could state his confused explanation of why she was here again after leaving a few days ago. He had personally seen her off at the main gates. "You said that you will try to do something other than sleep, play shougi and watch the clouds." She was trying to get her mind off the invitation in her pocket.

'_Kuso! Why can't I just ask him? I know what Gaara wanted…but why…?'_ A frown formed on her face. _'I'm starting to act like Sakura or worse...Ino...'_ The thought shook a shiver through her entire body.

Shikamaru's gaping mouth hung open. She had cut him off when he was talking. He frowned. "I wasn't lazy." His lower lip jutted out in annoyance. "I was helping the other chuunin hone their strategic skills."

Temari's head jerked to face the brunette at her side. Her eyes narrowed in irritation. _'Is he justifying his laziness again…?'_

She raised a white-knuckled fist. "Shikamaru..." She breathed through gritted teeth as she tried to suppress her rage.

He diverted his eyes from the clouds to the jounin…

…and they rounded when a hard fist came crashing down on top of his head.

'_Why does Gaara want to meet Shikamaru? He must want a new punching bag…'_ Temari was furious. She kept swinging her fist at the brunette but met air every time.

"Stand still and take your beating like a man!"

And in all of Temari's infuriated swings, the little white envelope fell out of her pocket.

"I would stand still if you stopped trying to hit me!" The chuunin dodged another attack as his eyes caught on the red wax Kazekage seal on the back of a white envelope. Shikamaru's face changed from fear to curiosity.

'_What's that? Is she here on a mission?'_ He raised an eyebrow. _'If she is, then shouldn't she be doing it? And she calls me lazy...'_

He swiftly ducked another swing at his head, rolled across the ground and snatched the little envelope off the ground.

Temari's eyes widened and her anger melted away as her eyes caught on the envelope in Shikamaru's hand.

Shikamaru stood a safe distance away from the kunoichi. He had one hand inside his pocket, the other holding the envelope. He turned the letter in his hand, and his frowned deepened as he saw whom it was addressed. His eyes darted to the kunoichi then back to the envelope.

Temari's face burned red. Her mouth hung open enough to let out a little squeak as his hand moved to rip the envelope open. Shikamaru's fingers hovered at the corner. The frown on his face intensified as he saw the expression on Temari's face. It was an expression that he thought that he would never see.

Temari was scared.

She knew the contents of the envelope and she knew that she needed his immediate response. But she wished she didn't have to see him read it!

'_Just send Gaara your answer… I want to go home…'_

Shikamaru's face softened as he dropped his hand to his side. He looked down at the envelope, then at Temari. "Oi!" He walked towards the girl. "This fell out of your pocket." His hand was outstretched, holding the envelope a safe distance from the kunoichi. She might whack him on the head after taking the envelope back.

Temari snapped out of her spell. She looked at the unopened envelope, then at Shikamaru.

"You should be careful with important papers like these. It has the Kazekage seal on it."

Temari's face shadowed before her body shook with anger. "Why are you giving me a lecture on how to do my job when you don't even do yours?" She grabbed his arm, pulled him toward her and…whacked him hard in the head. "Besides, can't you read! It's addressed to you!" She pushed the envelope forcefully back into his hand, sending Shikamaru flying to the ground

Shikamaru rubbed his head as he looked at the crumpled envelope in his hand. He slowly pulled himself up from the ground. A frown formed on his face again.

'_Mattaku... If she wanted me to have it, why was she so afraid of me opening it?'_

Temari waited patiently as Shikamaru opened the envelope. Her arms lay crossed across her chest as she tried to mask the curiosity on her face with disinterest.

Shikamaru's expression didn't change. He knew that this could only lead to trouble... And going all the way to Sunagakure for something like this was going to be super troublesome.

**End Chapter 2**

0o0o0o0

Sand's babbling:

Sand: (breathes heavily) Damn…you…Uchiha…Sasuke… (recovers immediately) I'm so going to kill you! Then Itachi's going to marry Naruto! (laughs maniacally)

Sasuke: (frowns) That's a stupid statement. Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!

Sand: (ducks the giant fireball) Ha! Miss me! (grabs Sasuke by the feet) Gotcha! (leaves the room)

Sasuke: (screaming) Not the toilet! Not the toilet!

Sand: (thinks) I'm going to give you the dunking of a lifetime! Mwuah ha ha ha ha… (lightning flashes in the background of Sand's mind)

Sand: (dunks Sasuke into a garbage can) Eat garbage! (laughs maniacally)

Sasuke: (splutters) …

Fire: (runs up and whacks Sand) Sasuke! (grabbing Sasuke and yelling at Sand) Don't do that! (runs away carrying an unconscious Sasuke)

Sand: (shouts) That'll teach ya not to mess with me! I'm possessed by Shukaku! Yahoo!

Shukaku: (sweatdrops) You're delusional.

Sand: (ignores Shukaku) Yahooo! You're inside of me!

Gaara: (ignores Sand) I'll see you next time in Chapter three. Review and keep reading or suffer my Sabaku Kyuu.

Temari: (sweatdrops) You're kidding right, Gaara? (laughs shakily)

Gaara: I don't kid.

Kankuro: Where am I in the story…? (cries in the dark corner, holding Karasu)

Gaara: No one wants to read about you, baka.

Kankuro: (cries) I'm all alone…

Sand: (snaps out of small bout of Shukaku madness, runs up to Kankuro and hugs him) I like you.

Kankuro: (smiles very widely) Date me…

Sand: (sweatdrops) Uh… Maybe some other day… (slowly backs away and runs out of the room)

Temari: …

Kankuro: …

Gaara: … I won't repeat myself twice.

Temari: (sighs) Please review and keep reading. Will the baka accept or refuse the invitation? I'm going to beat him up now. So Ja! (flies away on her fan)

Gaara: … (dissolves into sand)

Kankuro: (still crying in the corner) I'm all alone.

Shukaku: Now I can rant about whatever I want to talk about. So first, I'm going to kill YOU! (points at Kankuro and walks threateningly towards him) What!

Kankuro: (smiles) Ha ha! You don't have enough room!

Shukaku: (looks down to the bottom of the window) Damn! Not enough room! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!


	3. Response

Shuukaku: Sake for everyone!

Fire: Uh…I don't drink.

Sasuke: Yeah, Fire's not old enough.

Fire: I'm old enough! Look! (holds up ID)

Sasuke: O.o I didn't know you were that old!

Fire: I'm not old!

Sand: This is my fanfic! (grabs Sasuke and throw him out of the dialogue window)

Fire: Sasuke! (runs after Sasuke)

Sand: (sighs) Sorry for taking so long for this chapter to come out. Gaara, my co-writer, was captured by Akatsuki.

Gaara: (groans slightly) Wha… Shuukaku?

Shuukaku: (stares at Gaara) That's what you look like? No wonder I was captured.

Gaara: (sand swirling around him) Sabaku kyuu!

Shuukaku: (dodges the attack) Not going to work, gaki! (runs away)

Sand: So, for the next few weeks, I'm going go after Akatsuki and try to get Shuukaku back.

Gaara: Who needs that bastard?

Sasuke: You?

Gaara: (sand grabs Sasuke by the feet, throws him out the window into the toilet, and attempts to flush him into the sewers) …

Fire: (grabs Sasuke away from Gaara's sand and attempts to fix his hair) Sasuke!

Sand: Someone pull up chapter 3. I'll be in Kawa no Kuni.

Fire: Baki, pull up chapter 3!

Baki: Why me…? (pulls up chapter 3)

0o0o0o0

Disclaimer: Sand owns nothing, but this doesn't mean that Suna isn't strong! All original terms are owned by Fire, not Sand. How pathetic is that! (Sand whacks Fire in the head) Which original terms will be brought up later if they appear in the fics.

0o0o0o0

Warning: All Japanese terms are used for the purpose of Sand's sadistic amusement by confusing fans. A glossary of all the terms used in every fanfic is now available at the Fire and Sand user profile. If you are confused about any term used in the story, please refer to the user profile for the complete definition.

0o0o0o0

**Chapter 3: Response**

Gaara was tapping his pencil impatiently on his desk. He really hadn't wanted to be around Kankuro for the past week. He had become nicer to his siblings, but his older brother was still a loser and a baka. And he was annoying.

"_Oi! Gaara!" Kankuro ran up to his little brother, his face fully flushed._

_Gaara turned to look at Kankuro. His brow furrowed with worry. 'Kankuro shouldn't run. Taijutsu isn't his best ability. He's not Lee.'_

_Kankuro's hands pressed down on bent knees as he tried to anchor himself to the ground. "I just overheard the elders talking about you!" His heavy panting caused his face to flush red in asphyxiation. He pushed himself up to look Gaara in the eyes. "You know...how a...kage...is supposed to...you know, promote good FAMILIAL ties..." His face reddened even further as he drew in each breath._

_Gaara's eyes widened. 'What is he trying to tell me?'_

"_Ano..." Kankuro averted his eyes and began to blink VERY rapidly. "The elders think you should find a wife." His arms crossed across his chest, as if Gaara was going to smack him across the chest and send him out the window for that remark._

_But Gaara was frozen. His eyes wouldn't even blink._

"_At least a girlfriend." Kankuro shook his hands in front of himself in a joking manner, as if that would make the comment easier to swallow. The smile etched on his face only widened as he slunk to the red-head's side. "I heard that...you're... racking up...some...fangirls." He nudged his little brother in the side with his elbow and winked even though Gaara hadn't really heard him._

_Gaara didn't even move a muscle. He became catatonic for the rest of the day._

Snapping the pencil in half, Gaara sighed heavily as he pushed his chair back and rose from his seat. He walked to the open window. A frown crossed his face as he stared down into the main street, then to the main gates.

'_What is Temari doing? I assigned her the mission almost two weeks ago.' _He was trying to get his mind off what Kankuro had said. _'She better have a good excuse this time.'_

Gaara knew that getting a response to his request shouldn't have been that hard. Of course, Temari had a tendency to be too overbearing, or too shy around that guy, but…

'_Kankuro should've gone with her.'_ Then the thought of Kankuro slacking off, hitting on girls then getting rejected enough to depress him out of remember his mission crossed Gaara's mind. His hand shot up to his shaking head as he cringed at the thought. His dark-rimmed eyes closed tight. _'Maybe not sending Kankuro with her was a good idea.'_ The mission didn't need two people to get a response, so Kankuro would've wasted the entire week.

The sand from the large gourd near his desk swirled and opened the door.

The painted-face jounin suddenly threw whatever was behind his back down the hall, grabbed his twisted fingers hanging in the air readying for a knock, and pulled them down. A wonky smile crossed his face. "G-Gaara... Hahaha... I was going to hand you the new order forms from the grocers and meat shops. I wasn't trying to hand you a sack of potential girlfriends." The large potato sack that he had thrown, had nearly hit Baki in the head. The handful of papers flew across the hall as the sack hit the ground.

Gaara turned to look at his brother. His expression was unreadable, as usual.

Kankuro laughed nervously, rubbed the back of his neck and placed the sloppily-picked-up handful of papers onto the neat, yet cluttered desk. "So, Temari hasn't returned yet?"

"No."

Kankuro was a little uneasy with his other sibling. At least Temari was normal and brought up like him, but...Gaara was special. He was different.

"She probably has a good excuse this time." Kankuro was trying to do what older brothers do...reassure. "Actually, she always has a good excuse," he said with a smile. His smile wasn't helping.

Gaara dismissed what Kankuro had said. It made his older sister sound like a slacker, and she wasn't a slacker. He looked down at the neat piles of paperwork on his desk, then at the messy pile from Kankuro. _'There's no end to the paperwork,'_ he inwardly sighed as he picked up a report from the immediate attention pile and his eyes instantly widened. _'Why is this here?'_

0o0o0o0

Temari leapt through the forest in silence, but within her head, chaos reigned.

'_That good-for-nothing, baka-Shikamaru!'_ She bounced off a trunk. _'I can't believe he said that!'_ She was steaming. _'He can't just tell me that then walk away.' _Her fists were white-knuckled at her side as she suppressed her cataclysmically destructive anger.

'_Uggh...'_ Her anger subsided, but it was replaced by frustration. _'WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!'_

The next few miles of forest instantly disappeared.

0o0o0o0

Ino's stare was becoming very uncomfortable. Her face was close...really close. She really didn't know the meaning of "invasion of private space."

"So...Shikamaru...I noticed that Temari was here. She was here just a few days ago and the day before that." She pulled her face away, but the look that she shot him sent a chill down his spine. "So, tell us! What was she here for?" The excitement in her voice made her sound very childish.

Shikamaru tilted his head up to look at the clouds as he let out a sigh. When he tilted his head to look at his teammate, a frown was etched on his face. "It's too troublesome to say." He closed his eyes as he scratched his head. "Besides..." He turned to look at Ino. "…you'll probably spread it around the village then it'll become even more troublesome."

Ino pouted and crossed her arms across her chest. "It's not my fault that the _entire_ village depends on me for information. Anyway, did she come back to ask you for a date?" She was practically bouncing. Her excitement exploded, but the loud munching at her side was grating at her nerves. "Ah! Chouji! Stop eating for a second and help me prepare Shikamaru for his _date_."

"_Munch munch _I don't think that Shikamaru is _munch munch_ going on a date with _munch munch_ Temari-chan." Chouji slowed down his shoveling of food, slow enough to allow a few words out of his mouth.

"Of course it's a date! What else could it b—" Ino stopped in mid-sentence. She took her hands off her hips and straightened her back. She turned to the boy with the spiky pony-tail. "Shikamaru..." Her eyes bore into Shikamaru. "Did you do something to Temari? Something to hurt her?" _'He is a lazy good for nothing. Maybe he forgot their anniversary or something and now she's going to have her little brother kill him, or...'_

Shikamaru's eyes widened a little before narrowing. "What are you trying to say, Ino?" He sighed. _'Ino's been around Team Seven too much. She's adopted some of Kakashi-sensei's perversion.'_

Ino abruptly turned her head away from the clouds to face the brown-haired chuunin. "Huh? Oh, I didn't hear you." She was too busy dreaming up dirty scenarios in her mind. "Well, Shikamaru, what I'm trying to say is that you might have done something that might have hurt Temari's feelings or maybe she feels a little neglected. You do have a way of making a girl feel that way."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Ino…" The blond haired girl focused her attention on the brunette. "You couldn't be any further from the—"

"Ah! I'm glad everyone's here." Asuma interrupted Shikamaru's response. "Now I can tell you why I can't go w—"

"Asuma-sensei! It's rude to interrupt another person's conversation, especially when it's a private conversation!" Ino angrily scolded. The expression on her face caused Asuma to take a few steps back. His eyes widened in fear and confusion as he scratched his beard.

'_She yells at me for interrupting her and she doesn't even take her own advice.'_ Asuma let out a long and exasperated sigh.

"Well, you can finish your conversation at the Yakiniku Shop."

"Asuma-sensei's the best!" Chouji chimed. His sensei's offer couldn't have come at a better time. He was down to his last three bags of chips and two cakes.

0o0o0o0

Shikamaru ignored Ino's pressing questions. He was too busy staring out the window...and thinking about that night.

"_Well?" Temari needed his response._

_Shikamaru stuffed the envelope into his pocket. He turned to face the blond kunoichi with his usual frown. "What's the purpose of this meeting?" Shikamaru mumbled under his breath, "It's very troublesome that the invitation doesn't include it."_

"_How should I know? I wasn't given a lot of information about it. All that he said was that he wanted to meet you." Temari's eyes sharpened. "Maybe he found some flaws in the modifications you gave him." She still didn't want to be here. She wanted to go home and scream at Gaara for making her do this. "I need a reply to report back to him as soon as possible." 'Hurry up and give me your answer already. I want to go home.'_

_Shikamaru scratched his head and began walking away. "If that's the case, why isn't he talking to you? You DID look over the modifications before you gave them to him."_

_Temari's eyebrow twitched and her white-knuckled fist was raised in suppressed anger. "What are you trying to say, baka!" She whacked him in the head. "Of course, I looked over them!" She was walking ahead of him now._

"_Tch..." Shikamaru rubbed his head. "Well, the Kazekage is a smart guy. If he found any problems, he'd probably figure them out himself." He let out a sigh. "The other outcome may be that he needs more people to help with the paperwork." He stopped in mid step._

_Temari stopped as well. They were standing in the middle of the main street that ran through Konoha._

"_But, this outcome is incorrect. He has other advisors and he has his older brother who was originally trained to become the next Kazekage." Shikamaru frowned and let out another sigh. He squatted down and curved his fingers into a shaky circle. After some time had passed, he opened his eyes and got up. "I guess I'll go and pay him a small visit. It's been a while since I've last gone to Suna."_

'_What is going through that thick skull of his?' Temari looked apprehensively at him. 'What conclusion did he get?'_

"_Ja ne." Shikamaru had walked Temari to an inn. "It's late and this is the only inn with rooms still available." He waved a hand, turned around and was about to head back the opposite direction when a hand grabbed his wrist._

_Temari was surprised to find herself in front of an inn. 'I thought I was walking HIM home!'_

"_Oi. Why did you accept? What prompted you to that decision?" Temari tried to read Shikamaru's face, but found nothing. His face—as emotionless as Gaara's—was always unreadable unless he was annoyed by something troublesome. "You can't just accept and walk away." She released her grip. "It might be something serious."_

"_I'll be fine." Shikamaru stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Besides, it's nothing serious." He shot her a reassuring smile, causing her to relax a little._

_Temari stared at him before a smirk crossed her face. "Yosh!" She whacked him in the head. "I guess I have my answer." She waved before entering the inn._

_Shikamaru rubbed his head. 'Why does she always hit me?' He slowly walked down the street. 'I hope what I'm thinking isn't correct.' But that wasn't likely, especially for a boy with a 290 IQ._

"Ah! Chouji! That was my piece of meat!" Ino glared at the abdominous boy.

"But that was the last piece of meat."

"It's still my meat!"

"Asuma-sensei..."

The table became silent. Ino stopped teasing Chouji about a broken stomach and Asuma stopped searching his wallet for money. All eyes turned to Shikamaru.

"I guess you can't come for this." Shikamaru sighed. _'Mendokuse.'_ His mind began to whine again.

0o0o0o0

The knocking at his door snapped Gaara back to reality. He was thinking up several excruciatingly painful ways to hurt Kankuro indirectly so that no one would notice when he executed him.

"Enter." The doors swung open at the command, and a blond-haired kunoichi stepped carefully inside.

Temari walked up to Gaara. She was one of the few people who didn't need to be completely formal towards the boy. It gave him a little freedom from the duties of a Kazekage. He was still a teenager after all.

"He said that he will be coming in a few days. Most of the academy students just graduated...and I had to force him to do some of the preparations. He's still as lazy as before," Temari said smirking with her hands placed heavily on her hips.

Gaara should've known that Temari would've stayed in Konoha to supervise the lazy chuunin's work. If she didn't, he would never do anything.

"He said yes?" Gaara would've cocked a brow if he had any. He speculated that Temari probably had a pretty hard time trying to ask the question, but she would've asked the brown haired boy sooner or later. And getting it out of the way was easier than having it sprung upon him unexpectedly.

Nodding, Temari's smirk faded. The thought of Gaara wanting to kill Shikamaru suddenly crossed her mind. But she shook the thought away. Her brother wasn't like that anymore. Of course, she still didn't know his true intentions of wanting to meet the baka. And asking him directly would just lead to the same answer.

"I'll have a room prepared for him."

Temari was still perplexed by her brother's unusual behaviour. _'He wouldn't do anything to Shikamaru...would he?' _Usually after submitting her report, Temari left the office and rested in her own room; however, she was still really annoyed by the two scrolls she had seen on his desk a week and a half ago.

"Gaara..." Temari said uneasily.

Gaara raised his head. He was cleaning his desk from the splinters of earlier crushed pencil.

"Ano...I was just wondering...what those two scrolls were about." Temari was really nervous now. "The scrolls with Shikamaru's name on them." She—with Kankuro—usually advised Gaara on subjects that would help reinforce the security of the village, or other matters that would benefit the village but she never asked about what he did in his spare time…if he had any.

Gaara's expression was still blank. He took out a box of pencils… "Nothing. You should forget about them." …picked up a new pencil, and tried to get back to work. But he found himself rationalizing whether to give the scrolls to the girl or not. _'So she did see them...'_

"Souka." Temari said with her eyes to the ground before raising her head with a fake smile. "Well, I better rest up. There's probably plenty of work to catch up on. I still don't trust Kankuro with the details." She was about to leave when a wall of sand blocked her exit.

'_Che! If I don't tell her what they were about, she would just keep bringing it up and then Kankuro would start to annoy me about them.'_

Turning around quickly, shocked and wide-eyed, Temari faced Gaara.

Gaara reached into his desk and furnished two neatly tied scrolls. One red and one blue. Then slowly walking towards the quivering girl, he handed them to her. The sand receded back into the large gourd on the ground.

Without saying anything, Temari rushed out of the office. Her heart was attempting to leap out of her chest. She had literally felt her life shorten a few years.

**End Chapter 3**

0o0o0o0

The crazy ranting of Sand:

Sasuke: (smoothing his hair back into place) Nani! I missed the story?

Baki: You were too busy fixing your hair, narcissistic freak.

Sasuke: What did you say! (eyes go sharingan)

Gaara: (sand whacks Sasuke away from Baki) …

Sasuke: A kage and a jounin against one, cheaters!

Fire: Sasuke! Don't start a war! (grabs Sasuke) But…you're with Oto now, right? (puts him down again) Never mind. Start a war between Oto and Suna. I don't care.

Orochimaru: Sasuke-kun, don't start a war between Oto and Suna.

Sasuke: (falls back) Fine.

Gaara: You're whipped.

Sasuke: Am not!

Sand: Swirly! (grabs Orochimaru and runs into the bathroom)

Kabuto: (runs into the bathroom at the sound of flushing) Orochimaru-sama!

Fire: So…he's your sensei?

Sasuke: O.o Not anymore.

Sand: (runs out of the bathroom with Orochimaru tied with several lengths of thick rope and chains, and gagged with several thick strips of cloth, stuffs him into an airtight box and grins) I can trade you for Shuukaku!

Fire: Won't he die if you don't give him air?

Sand: Akatsuki won't care as long as they get the ring bac— (pulls the box open and grabs Orochimaru's ring) They just want the ring!

Kabuto: Orochimaru-sama!

Fire: Doesn't this temporarily make you an Akatsuki member? You have the ring.

Itachi: No.

Sasuke: Itachi!

Itachi: (runs away) …

Sasuke: (runs after Itachi) Teme, die!

Sand: (runs after Itachi) Hey! Take me to your leader! I'll trade you this ring for Shuukaku!

Kabuto: (untying Orochimaru) Orochimaru-sama, daijoubu des-ka?

Orochimaru: Just get my ring, baka!

Kabuto: (runs after Sand) Sand-sama!

Gaara: (flies on a cloud of sand after Sand) I guess I have to go with them.

Fire: That just leaves me. (smiles)

Kisame: That's scary.

Fire: What is?

Kankuro: That smile.

Fire: Really? (stops smiling)

Shikamaru: Why are you hugging Kisame?

Fire: I want to.

Kisame: (trying to get away) Help! Fire burns!

Shikamaru: Kind of obvious, isn't it?

Chouji: (drooling over cooking Kisame) Mmm…fish… (thinks for a moment) Mmm…shark… That's supposed to be a delicacy.

Kisame: (shouts) Don't eat me!

Ino: You'll break your stomach eating him, Chouji.

Kisame: (pulls himself away and runs after Itachi) They're all cannibals!

Zetsu: Want to join the club?

Everyone: No!

Fire: Well, it might take a while before Sand returns. Hopefully they'll all be back by the next chapter. In the meantime, please open a review window and review.

Suna bunshin Gaara: (appears holding a sign) _Review or I'll kill you._

Fire: That's not nice. We should just ask them nicely. They'll review.

Suna bunshin Gaara: (flips to the second sign) _I'm not supposed to be nice._

Fire: Well see you next chapter where I'll torture Baki even more!

Baki: Nani! That's Kakashi's job!

Kakashi: I'm taking the fanfic off. Union orders.

Baki: (shouting) What union?


	4. Doushite?

Gaara: (glares at audience) Read my story or die.

Sasuke: (arrogant) That's not how you threaten the readers.

Kankuro: (scared) N-No! Don't yell at Gaara!

Gaara: (annoyed) Then how do _you_ do it?

Sasuke: (turns to the audience and performs six seals) Read the story or suffer under my Housenka no Jutsu!

Fire: No! (grabs Sasuke and breaks his tiger seal) Don't flame the audience!

Sand: Drown the audience in sand. I don't care.

Fire: As for you readers, why aren't you flaming Sand! Have you read this story! It makes no sense!

Sand: (glares at Fire) On second thought…Gaara, put out Fire.

Gaara: (turns to Fire) Fuuton Mugen Saijin Daitoppa! (more sand flies out of Gaara's mouth) Sabaku taisou! (buries Fire in sand)

Fire: Waah! Baki, help me!

Baki: (sweats and cowers in fear) Uh…

Sasuke: (grabs Fire and shunshins away) Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!

Fire: (taps on a glass wall) Good job, Sasuke. Now, how do suggest we get out of this glass prison? (glass cracks and buries Fire)

Kakashi: (appears as the sand stops flowing) I wanted a nice vacation and I still get called back? (puts away his pager) Where's Fire?

Sasuke: (spits sand from his mouth) Under here. (points under the sand)

Kakashi: (reaches down and pulls the barely alive Fire out) …

Sand: Swirly! (grabs the bloody Sasuke from the ground and runs into the bathroom)

Gaara: This should be interesting.

Fire: Baki! You're useless! (turns to the audience) Read the fourth chapter while I yell at Baki and go to the hospital for some treatment. And remember to review, and tell the truth this time! Sand needs a lot of criticism!

0o0o0o0

**Chapter 4: Doushite…?**

Shikamaru entered the Hokage Tower. He still didn't know what made him accept the offer about two weeks ago. He already knew what the girl's family was like.

Super scary.

One was a green eyed, red-haired insomniac and former heartless killer with a bloodthirsty demon sealed inside him. The other was a kabuki-style face-painted puppeteer bully with a strange taste for hoods with pointed ears.

Sighing, Shikamaru knocked on the door to the Hokage's office. _'Why can't I just say no?_' He thought as he waited for an answer, but there wasn't a response. So the chuunin entered silently, trying not to step on any of the papers that had piled up behind the door.

There was a slumped figure at the desk. Papers and books were strewn all over the room. The Hokage was asleep. Again.

Shikamaru walked up to Tsunade, looked down at her and let out a long-winded sigh. _'Why do I always get stuck with doing something troublesome? How super troublesome...'_

Shikamaru shook her shoulder. "Oi! Hokage-sama! Wake up!"

Tsunade's eyes fluttered open to see something green and black, a peach-coloured ball with a dark-brown spike on top. It looked sort of like a sick tree with only one rotten pineapple on top, and all the leaves had fallen off. After blinking a few times, her eyes adjusted to see the annoyed face of a chuunin. "Shikamaru?" She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes… "What are you doing here?" …consequently smearing the ink on her cheek.

The brown-haired chuunin wondered the same thing but ignored the question, along with the ink spot on her face. He knew he had already accepted the offer and a man couldn't take back his word. So he had to come and see the Hokage with a request. "I request permission to go to Sunagakure."

Tsunade clamped her mouth shut from her yawn. She was interested as to what reason the lazy chuunin had thought up this time. _'He always comes up with the weirdest reasons to go to Sunagakure so it's no longer a surprise that he would ask to go, again. Maybe I should write up an annual pass or something so he would stop asking?' _She clasped her hands in front of her, _'I'd just wish that he would just come out and say that he wanted to see that blond-haired kunoichi. Kids these days...they're just too troublesome,'_ and looked straight at the young man. "Why do you want to go?" She had an expectant look on her face. It only took another moment of his stubborn face for her to make up her mind. _'Nah. It's too entertaining to see him make up all these excuses. That annual pass will just have to wait.'_

Shikamaru stuffed his hands into his pockets with a frown. "I was invited to see Kazekage-sama for some personal matters." This time he was telling the truth.

Of course, Tsunade didn't care. She was used to the lazy chuunin's excuses by now and would have allowed him the time off anyway. Especially since there was just a chuunin exam about a month ago. His job as a chuunin examiner wouldn't be needed until early spring of next year.

Also, Tsunade could make him look over the selections when he returned.

"How long will you be gone?" Even though Tsunade was allowing him to go, she still needed to know when he would be back.

"At least two weeks." Shikamaru's head was turned towards the open window. He was staring at the clouds again with his eyes half-closed and posture visibly slouched.

"At least...two weeks," Tsunade drawled as she stopped the scratching of her pencil and looked up at the brown-haired boy. "Why so long? It only takes three days to get to Sunagakure and three days back. So a week and a half should be more than enough to finish whatever you need to do there."

Now, the Hokage was suspicious. _'What could he be up to? Uggh...a long distance relationship is so bothersome.'_

Shikamaru turned to face the Hokage, his frown still etched on his face. "I just want to know how the improvements I gave to Temari are going. They're not that difficult. Just some changes to the defense system, and preparations in case of surprise attacks. It's troublesome but..." His face turned away towards the window again.

Tsunade's eyes widened. A smug smirk crossed her face. _'I knew it. He wanted some time with that blond-haired kunoichi. Now he needs to admit that he likes her.'_ Placing the official Hokage seal on the paper, Tsunade handed Shikamaru his passport with the approval to go to Sunagakure. "You have two weeks at Suna. Tell Temari-chan I said hi."

With a confused look, Shikamaru removed a hand from his pocket, took the passport and left. _'Why does everyone tell me to say 'hi' to Temari?'_ Sighing, he continued his slow walk home.

0o0o0o0

Outside the Kazekage Palace, several modifications were made. Shelters were being built. Escape routes were recorded. Evacuation tunnels were dug underground. Emergency water and food storages were established. The banging of hammers and the chiseling of rocks echoed throughout the village.

However, inside of the Kazekage Palace, it was a little more chaotic.

"Temari! Stop running around like a headless chicken!"

"I'm not running!"

Temari was running. She had heard that Shikamaru was going to be in Sunagakure tomorrow and was making last minute preparations. Clutched in her arms were fresh linen and new flowers. She wanted to make sure that the guest room looked nice and wasn't too stuffy.

She didn't let any of the other servants do the preparations. Temari did all of it herself. She knew that she was deviating from her work but she had already submitted the details to Gaara and Kankuro. Whatever problems that they had could be sorted out after the brown-haired chuunin arrived.

"Whew! All done!" Temari had spent the entire day doing chores. _'He better not say anything about how it looks.'_ She took one last look at the room and left.

The preparations were finished. At least, Shikamaru's room was.

0o0o0o0

Upon arriving at Sunagakure, Shikamaru went straight towards the Kazekage Palace. He wasn't sure whether to bring Chouji and Ino along or not. So he brought them anyway. If he didn't, Ino would complain endlessly about being left out, and she would definitely spread that rumour about him dating the Kazekage's sister. And he would feel too bad for not telling Chouji about the food, especially since he'll be staying in the Kazekage palace.

"It's always way too hot here," Ino complained from Shikamaru's right hand side as they walked into the village. She always complained about the heat or the sand or getting sweaty or it being too stuffy whenever Team Ten was in Sunagakure.

Asuma-sensei wasn't accompanying the three chuunin. He was needed on a mission, especially with the short supply of shinobi after the invasion. Of course, he wasn't worried about the three getting into any trouble. He was more worried about them not doing any work.

"Chouji! Stop eating so much! You'll end up in the hospital again after tonight's dinner!" Ino's yell drew the attention of nearby shopkeepers and patrons, causing the loud blond to clamp her mouth shut. A small blush crossed her face in embarrassment.

"But..._munch munch_...I'm hungry..._munch munch_..." Chouji was finishing his seventh bag of chips, and he still had a whole cake inside of his carrier pouch. When he opened his eighth bag, Ino couldn't take it anymore.

"Chouji, if you have to eat, at least eat something healthier."

Chouji's head turned to look at Ino. He thought for a moment then said, "Potatoes are healthy," while munching on chips.

Ino deflated a little. She knew that the only way to stop Chouji from eating was to give him something inedible, or stuff him until his stomach broke.

"Let's get to the Kazekage Palace before sunset." Shikamaru was trying to change the subject. "It gets really cold at night." However, his remark didn't go uncriticized.

"The nights are _way_ too cold and the days are _way_ too hot," Ino complained. She never liked missions involving Suna.

And neither did her teammates. Ino got more annoying, loud and irritable and her teammates suffered or their charge suffered the consequences. Mainly in the form of a very loud, annoying and nerve-grating complaint.

Sighing, Shikamaru attempted to quell his loud and obnoxious teammate. "Kazekage Palace is well aired. So, it's not stuffy or hot inside during the day. And at night, there are warm and soft beds. So, the surrounding frigidity isn't troublesome."

Ino was quiet in contemplation. Whenever Team Ten was at Suna, she had never stayed in the Kazekage Palace, so she didn't know these things. Shikamaru on the other hand...

"You seem very well-informed about the Kazekage Palace." A sly grin crossed her face as she shot Shikamaru a devilish look. "Is it because you're trying to _steal away_ the Kazekage's sister?"

A slight blush crossed Shikamaru's face, or he would have blushed if he had to ability. But he couldn't blush and didn't. His eyes widened then furrowed as a deep frown flew onto his face. "I'm not trying to _steal_ anything. I've been inside the Kazekage Palace many times to help with preparations and improvements on the relation between Suna and Konoha." He stuffed his hands deep into his pockets. "When I work late into the night, I stay in one of the guest rooms. They have a lot of them."

Ino knew that she couldn't argue with the guy. He has an IQ of over two hundred. So she just intertwined her fingers behind her back and began to skip ahead towards their destination. "You can deny it all you want, but everyone knows that you and Temari like each other!" She was singing and chirping as she skipped.

Shikamaru's lower lip jutted out as he and Chouji continued to walk slowly towards the Kazekage Palace. Chouji was eating and Shikamaru had his head tilted up to look at the clouds.

"Women are so troublesome."

Chouji just smiled and nodded in agreement before stuffing another chip into his mouth.

0o0o0o0

Gaara's head looked up from the piece of paper to look at the three Konoha-nin, then back at the piece of paper. He inwardly sighed before placing the letter into his desk. _'I'm trusting you with three of my most important shinobi. Do what you want, but don't kill them. Tsunade.'_

Gaara sighed at the note... _'What did she think I was going to do?'_ …before looking at Shikamaru. "I thought you were coming alone." His monotonous voice held no emotions. However, with some seriously strained hearing, some irritation could be detected.

"I wouldn't be part of a team if I came alone." Shikamaru retorted with a frown. He didn't even cringe when Gaara narrowed his eyes and stared unblinkingly at him for some time. He had grown accustomed to Gaara's stares over the past year.

He might have been scared when they first met during the chuunin exams a year and a half ago, but having to be around the guy afterwards wasn't too bad after a few weeks. He still couldn't tell when Gaara was serious about killing him or when he was joking. Gaara did threaten to kill him during the chuunin exams in the hospital once. He might decide to actually do it one of these days.

_Clutching his head in an attempt to ward off the pain, Gaara stalked past the two frozen genin and the green-clad jounin. When he reached the doorway, he placed his hand heavily on the doorpost and turned very slowly to face the blond-haired boy and the brunette._

"_I will definitely kill you two." Gaara's eyes narrowed as the frown on his face slightly deepened. He slowly lifted his hand and continued on his way._

Shikamaru didn't budge. He wasn't backing down to the stare for even a second. He knew that the only way to show Gaara that he wasn't weak was to stare back. If he cringed or showed even the slightest hint of fear, he knew that the redhead wouldn't even hesitate to take advantage of it.

Gaara was about to say something when the door suddenly burst open.

"Just because you don't like it, doesn't mean that everyone does! You should consider the preferences of everyone rather than just yourself!" Temari was shouting at her stupid brother. A handful of papers were clutched tightly in one hand and another set of papers were clutched in the other.

Gaara's face frowned in annoyance. He _was_ interrupted.

"I don't just 'don't like it', I hate it!" Kankuro was screaming his head off. "Spinach is evil! It looks disgusting and it tastes even worse." He retorted with great conviction. He was really against the green vegetable.

Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino had stepped aside to allow the bickering siblings to walk towards the Kazekage desk. They wanted no part in their dispute.

Temari turned towards Gaara and plopped the handful of papers on his desk. "These were the new order forms that were completed three weeks ago." Her voice was slowly calming down. She was ignoring Kankuro's pouting and weird faces. However, knowing that he was doing it behind her back was causing her left eye brow to twitch uncontrollably.

"Kankuro changed the orders for all of the meat shops! He changed the order to eighty kilograms of ground beef instead of twenty!" Her tolerance fizzled. She turned around, completely catching Kankuro in the act of making a stupid face, and whacked him in the head. "And he scratched off all the new orders of spinach from all the lists of produce!" Another whack to Kankuro's head.

Kankuro was lying sprawled on the ground. Temari's foot was a blur on top of his bloodied body, not allowing him the slightest chance to do a kawarimi or to get away.

Gaara's patience dried at that. His sand gently wrapped around Temari's waist, causing her eyes to widen and the frown on her face to disappear, and placed her in front of Shikamaru and his team.

"Show them to their rooms." Gaara already had a small headache developing from the improvements that were going on in the village. It grew exponentially after the unexpected interruption.

Temari just nodded towards Gaara. She gave him the fresh set of papers from her other hand before she left the room with the three shinobi.

Gaara walked over to his sprawled, bloodied and unconscious brother, looked down and gave him a hard kick in the stomach. "Baka."

0o0o0o0

Ino's eyes widened at the sight of her room. _'Wow! S-sugoi!'_ She went straight for the bed and plopped down face first.

"Oi! Shikamaru, you really stayed in a room like this?"

"Aah..." Shikamaru wasn't paying any attention. Almost every room in the palace looked the same as any other room in a regular house. He was surprised by how disheveled _his_ room was.

"_Shikamaru, this is your room." Temari had already showed Chouji his room. Next was Shikamaru. She had a wide smirk on her face._

'_He must be surprised.' She made sure he was COMFORTABLE in his room._

_Chouji and Ino didn't want to know what Shikamaru did to Temari to make her do this. They wanted to stay as far away from this as possible._

"_I would've thought that the room would be more ravaged." Shikamaru WAS surprised. He just didn't show it._

'_More…ravaged.' Everyone could hear the sound of Temari's teeth grinding. She was trying really hard to suppress the urge to summon Kamaitachi to behead an annoying deer._

Shikamaru was glad to have something else distract his loud teammate. "Let's go, Chouji. The kitchen is this way."

He also needed something to get his mind off his room.

Chouji nodded his head and allowed his brown-haired teammate to lead the way.

Ino didn't even notice that they had ditched her. She was too absorbed in her surroundings. _'Hmm... Now that I think about it... If Shikamaru ends up dating Temari, he'll be staying in rooms like these all the time.'_ She stared at the fairly plain ceiling, even though there was a fairly large, glass chandelier hanging there. _'But...'_ Her mind went off into plotting mode. She knew that dating the sibling of a kage had its perks, but what she had up her sleeves was far more daring.

'_Yosh! Then it's settled! I'm going to try to forget about baka-Sasuke-yaro. The guy's probably turned into Orochimaru by now. And set my heart on someone new!'_

Ino went straight to the desk and looked in the mirror. _'I'll have to seduce him at dinner tonight.'_ Lucky for her, she had brought all of her make-up and all of her fancy clothes in case Temari needed anything for a date. But, using them for this plan wasn't going to stop Ino from using them for her original purpose.

'_He's certainly changed a lot since the last time I saw him. He's gotten cuter, stronger, and less scary. He might actually turn out to be a decent boyfriend with a little work here and there.'_

0o0o0o0

Gaara sighed in his office. He was able to correct most of the trouble Kankuro had created. But that was not what was occupying his mind. It was the random report his eyes had fallen upon a few days ago.

"_Kankuro, what is this doing here?" Gaara held up the report. It wasn't a progress report or a medical report or any other report that a kage had to sort through. It was..._

"_Huh? Oh! That? That's just the...uh...the...uh..." Kankuro was looking in all directions except the one direction that would direct his eyes to Gaara's freezing stare. "Ahhahaha...ha...ha...ha...ha-ow did this get here? Ahha...ha...ha..." He tried to get the report back from Gaara's hands but when he did, Gaara pulled the report away, leaving Kankuro's hand hanging limp in the air. He slowly retracted it to scratch his head._

"_G-Gaara, it's not what it looks like." Kankuro waved both hands in front of himself defensively. "I-it was Baki-sensei! Chiyo-baasama! Ebizou-jiisama!" He was spouting out any name that came to mind, even names of those who were dead or missing. "Ojii-sama!"_

'_Ojii-sama? He's been missing for over twenty years.' Gaara's eyes narrowed. 'And, he's probably dead.'_

"_Obaa-sama!"_

'_Dead for over thirty years.'_

"_Otousama!"_

'_Dead for a year and a half.' _

"_Karasu!"_

'_...' Gaara threw a report at Kankuro's head. 'Now, he's being a baka again.' _

"_..." Kankuro picked up the report that had hit his head and placed it back on top of a pile. "You should at least take a look at it, like, it IS important." His arms shot up defensively in case of any projecting booklets, his eyes closed tight to brace for impacting sand._

_But nothing happened._

"_..." Gaara sighed inwardly. He placed the report inside his desk, hoping everyone would forget about it. "How are the preparations?" He wanted to change the subject. His head was throbbing enough as it was._

"..." Gaara got up from his desk. He picked up his gourd and shunshin-ed to the roof. He needed some time to self-reflect.

'_Temari has a boyfriend, but doesn't want to admit it. Kankuro has no luck finding a girlfriend, so he's a good barrier to defend against fangirls. The elders... They're annoying. Sandaime Hokage became a kage when he was half my age and no one tried to get him to find a wife.'_

Gaara disappeared and reappeared in his room. He placed his gourd down next to the bed and plopped down on the bed. _'Baka-elders. They're getting more and more annoying.'_

**_Kill them._**

'_No.'_

**_Kill them._**

'_No.'_

_**They all hate you, so kill them all.**_

'_No.'_

**_They don't deserve to live for making you do this. Kill them. Spill their blood. Let me drink their pain. KILL THEM ALL! _**

'_Gomen nasai, Kasan.'_ Gaara held his head. _'I'll feed you later.'_ He got up. He had dozed off for a few minutes.

The sun was setting.

"..." He looked around at the once clean room. The bed was shredded, the stuffing pulled out. All the furniture was smashed and the walls, ceiling and floor were slashed with claw marks. Glass and splinters littered the floor.

Gaara sighed before getting up. _'Dinner's almost ready.'_ He exited the room and walked towards the dining hall.

ANBU immediately began to clean up the decimated room.

**End Chapter 4**

0o0o0o0

Sand's crazy last words:

Fire: From now on, I'm calling Baki, Baka-Baki. It's cute, isn't it? (turns to Baki)

Baki: No.

Fire: Yes. It is. Now, agree with me.

Baki: No.

Fire: (kicks Baki into the ground) Now, review before Sand comes back from the bathroo—

Sasuke: (walks up all wet, yells at Fire) WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME!

Fire: (runs away) Ja! And review!

Gaara: Review or I'll kill you.

Sasuke: That's not how you threaten the readers.

Kankuro: N-No! Don't yell at Gaara again!

Gaara: Then how do _you_ do it?

Sasuke: (turns to the audience and performs four seals) Review or suffer under my Ryuuka no Jutsu!

Sand: (ducks the fire attack) Just close the window before you die.

Sasuke: And review!

Sand: (grabs Sasuke) Swirly!


	5. Dinner Show

Fire: We're back! For those of you who wanted to know how often Sand updates, it's anywhere between three to four weeks, usually the first or second Monday (if you're in the western hemisphere, ie the Americas)/Tuesday (if you're in the eastern hemisphere, ie Europe, Africa, Asia and Australia) of every month.

Baki: This is stupid. I'm leaving.

Fire: Baka-Baki! (grabs Baki) Hand us reviews from the Big Bag of Reviews!

Baki: (sighs and hands Fire a review) Here. Now I'm—

Gaara: (grabs the review from Fire and glares) Those are mine.

Fire: (runs behind Kisame) Kowai! (hugs Kisame)

Gaara: This story takes place during the timeskip. That means I still have Shukaku and I'm changing between psycho me and nice me.

Baki: (sweats) …

Kisame: Nice? You become nice?

Gaara: (glares at Kisame) …

Kisame: (grins as he grips Samehada) Try it, gaki.

Gaara: (turns away, annoyed) …

Sasuke: Where's Sand?

Fire: Sand's tired, so I'm hosting for today! (hugs Kisame tighter)

Sasuke: (turns away from Fire and Kisame) That's the most disturbing thing I've ever seen.

Gaara: (mumbling under his breath) Like you and Naruto are any better.

Sasuke: (glares at Gaara with sharingan eyes) Nani?

Gaara: (glares at Sasuke with sand swirling around him) You heard me.

Baki: (scrambles forwards with chapter 5) You don't want to see a bloodbath, so here's chapter 5.

Fire: And we've included the legend for anyone who doesn't remember what each font means.

Kisame: Let go of me! (struggles against Fire)

Fire: (squeezes Kisame tighter) …

Kisame: (squeaks and falls over) …

Fire: Baka-Baki, give them the chapter already!

Baki: (posts chapter 5 onto the window) …

0o0o0o0

**Legend**

story

"speech"

_'thought'_

"_speech in thought"_

_flashback, letter or dream sequence_

0o0o0o0 (change in time or scene)

_**Shukaku speaking**_

0o0o0o0

Disclaimer: The Big Bag of Reviews belongs to Fire and is cared for by Kakashi. Baki's just looking after it for Kakashi since he's on vacation. Don't steal the Big Bag of Reviews (ie the Bag of Reviews) because Fire won't be able to find the reviews if you do, and then I'll have to kill Kakashi and Baki for losing it. If you want to borrow the Big Bag of Reviews to store your own reviews in, please tell me so that our reviews don't get mixed up.

0o0o0o0

Warning: Out-of-control-ness is not a real word. It was created by Sand to express out-of-control as a noun. A synonym is unmanageability. Adjectives are out of control, out of hand, unmanageable, impossible, etc.

0o0o0o0

**Chapter 5: Dinner Show**

All the boys were already seated at the dining table. They were waiting for the girls to arrive so they could start.

"Where's Temari?" Kankuro was getting impatient. He was tired of eating bread. "I'm hungry."

"Ino's late too." Shikamaru noted. "Girls... Mendokuse."

Chouji didn't mind eating bread. He was already on his fifth basket.

"Where's Temari?" The flat voice turned every head at the table to Gaara. He was hard to ignore.

"We thought she was with you." Kankuro rested his head on his propped up arm. "We can't start without the girls." His stomach growled loudly. It sounded like a dying cat. "Let's start without them!" His patience had dried up. He wanted food.

"Baka."

Every pair of eyes in the room turned to look at the low overbearing voice. Their eyes slowly widened in shock as Temari walked into the room and sat down in her seat. She narrowed her eyes at everyone. "Why are you all staring at me?" She was confused by their looks. There wasn't anything wrong with what she was wearing, was there?

"_Temari! Temari!" Ino ran into the older girl's room holding armloads of bags. "Let's dress up for dinner!" She was serious. The bags were full of fancy clothes and makeup. "It's my first time staying at the Kazekage Palace so I want to look nice."_

"_That's fine, but why do I have to dress up too?" Temari was rudely awakened by Ino's shrill cry. Kankuro really tired her out with his idiocy and Gaara...with his out-of-control-ness. She had to organize the ANBU to clean up his decimated room._

_And, she still had the two troublesome scrolls to deal with. The contents were too contradictory._

"_Doushite...?" Ino's high-pitched voice grated at Temari's nerves. "I want to see the boy's expressions at the sight of two beautiful ladies. It would be great to see if we could get a reaction out of them." Ino's plot was evil and suicidal._

'_A reaction out of Kankuro wouldn't be hard...but, a reaction out of Gaara would be a challenge and definitely something to see,' Temari mused over Ino's proposal as she opened one of the bags to see what kind of clothes there were._

'_Yosh! My plan is working out perfectly!' Ino had to suppress the urge to burst into excited high-pitched squeals. 'I bet Shika wouldn't know what hit him even if it came straight for him.' Lightning flashed through dark night skies within her mind as she was cackling at the thought._

_Temari didn't let Ino put any makeup on her face. It was too much work just to look nice for dinner._

"_At least put on a little..." Ino's persistence and annoying whining made the older girl cave in._

There wasn't too much makeup on Temari's face, but it was enough to make the boys stare.

Temari wore a knee-length azure-blue kimono with a white floral pattern and her hair wasn't spiky or parted into four ponytails—her usual look. A neat bun gathered her hair at the back of her head, leaving only wisps at the sides of her face to accentuate her eyes. There was a jewel-encrusted silver comb pinning the bun in place.

'_Temari's wearing makeup...and she looks like a girl!'_ Kankuro had to remind himself that his overbearing and boyish sister was indeed a girl. He almost didn't realize how much Temari looked like their mother.

"..." Gaara didn't care what Temari dressed like. As long as his sister was happy, he didn't even care if she wore the Kazekage cloak and hat to the dining table. He would even let her wear it for the entire day.

Chouji was staring, food dropping out of his mouth at the stunning sight of Temari. _'Shikamaru's one lucky man.'_ He never really noticed how beautiful Temari was until now.

Shikamaru...he stared for a while then blew it off. _'I don't know why girls bother with such pointless things.'_ He didn't want to admit that she looked nice.

"Where's Ino?" Shikamaru was getting restless from lack of food. The girls had done something troublesome to stall the food and his female teammate was still missing.

At the sound of her name, the long, blond-haired girl walked in.

"I'm here!"

And almost everyone at the table fell out of their chairs.

0o0o0o0

Gaara was the only one still sitting in his seat, his eyes closed. _'Why did this annoying girl come?'_ He was trying to suppress Shukaku's urge to rip the konoha-kunoichi to shreds.

Shikamaru and Chouji slowly and weakly climbed back into their seats. _'That's the most horrifying sight I've ever seen.'_ Both of them were trying to subdue the urge to gouge their eyes out. They never wanted to see their teammate looking like _that_!

Ino walked to her seat next to Kankuro. She certainly wasn't going to sit next to Chouji when he was eating. She could lose a limb in his mouth and not even know it.

The seating was arranged as followed: Gaara was at the head. Kankuro sat at his left, Temari at his right. Shikamaru was next to Temari, Chouji was next Shikamaru and lastly, Ino was next to Kankuro.

'_Why do I have to sit next to the witch?'_ Kankuro's eyebrow twitched with irritation. He wouldn't mind switching seats with _anyone_ as long as that person wasn't already sitting next to that girl.

'_Isn't that a little too much makeup, Ino?'_ Temari shook her head in dismay. _'And, isn't that outfit a little over the top?'_ The clothes Ino wore weren't the clothes that Temari last remembered Ino wearing before she left the girl alone in her room. _'What in the world is this girl thinking?'_ She knew there was a catch behind dressing up. She just didn't know what it was.

Ino was wearing a dark violet mid-lower thigh length kimono with a white floral pattern. The neckline was loosened and her hair was done similar to Temari's, but with a higher bun and with more glittery and shiny accessories holding it up. Her makeup...was exactly as Kankuro had put it.

She _did_ look like a witch with all of the lipstick, blush, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, _and_ glitter around the corners of her eyes.

Where did she get all of this stuff? No one would ever know.

"Everyone's here. Let's eat." Baki-sensei was another unfortunate shinobi who had to sit next to Ino. He had arrived shortly after Ino and had already reacted to the sight of her down the hall before arriving a few minutes later. At first, he thought Shukaku had escaped from Gaara, had run around the Kazekage Palace a few times and then had gotten into Temari's makeup and clothes. He was so relieved when he realized that it wasn't Shukaku.

'_Good thing I wasn't carrying my shuriken pouch. I would've killed her.'_ He almost jumped out the third floor window after taking one look at Ino.

0o0o0o0

Dinner flew by quickly with a few glares exchanged by Gaara to Shikamaru and vice versa, and awkward encrypted suggestions from Ino to Shikamaru but he didn't understand what she was trying to tell him.

'_Baka Shikamaru! He's really like a deer!'_ She wanted him to take Temari for a night walk alone or at least leave.

She also gave Gaara strange looks all evening.

'_Does she have something in her eyes?'_ Gaara didn't pick up on whatever Ino was trying to say. It just looked like she was trying to get rid of something in her eyes.

Ino was trying to bat her eyelashes. _'Ah... Are all boys so dense?'_ All her attempts only drew the attention of the person next to her.

"Do you have something in your eyes?" Kankuro wasn't concerned. He just didn't want to sit next to someone who fidgeted a lot.

'_Ah... I don't want THIS guy... I'm going for the big one!'_ She ignored Kankuro. She didn't need his help...even though some of the mascara got into her eyes from all of her eyelash batting. _'Itai...maybe I overdid it a little.'_

"C'mon. Some of your makeup got into your eyes." Temari helped Ino out of her seat much to the girl's dismay. The girls left shortly after the desserts were served.

'_Don't use up the entire bottle of mascara on your eyelashes next time,'_ Temari inwardly sighed. She didn't want to hear Ino's complaints later on. _'But, I think all of her hard work caught Kankuro's eyes.'_ Temari shivered convulsively at the thought of Ino and Kankuro becoming a couple. _'Gaara's too smart to fall for Ino's tricks.'_ At least Temari was relieved about that.

0o0o0o0

Kankuro was in his room. He never really noticed how pretty Ino was. _'Was that girl flirting with me?'_ He wasn't as dumb as most people thought he was. He was supposed to be the Godaime Kazekage after his father, but he gave the position to Gaara. Besides, he really wanted it, and he was afraid Gaara might kill him at the time. _'She kept turning towards me and giggling or batting her lashes.'_ He thought that all the signals being sent by Ino were for him.

Man...was he wrong!

'_I knew I was handsome...but...'_ Kankuro was pacing back and forth in his room, wondering what to do with a pretty, but annoying girl.

His feet stopped, a look of resolution on his face.

'_I got it!'_ He sped out of his room and down the hall to a certain brown-haired shinobi's room.

0o0o0o0

Gaara was trying to get settled in his newly reformed room. Some the furniture were different and some of the items were different too, but he didn't really care. As long as it was comfortable, he didn't care if there were no furniture and nothing in his room but a bed and bare walls.

'_Baka Shukaku, stop destroying my room.'_

_**Urusai, gaki! I want blood, and you're not feeding me!**_

'_I already fed you.'_

**_No, you didn't!_**

'_I remember killing three people.'_

**_You fed KASAN, not me!_**

'_I'll feed you later.'_

Gaara opened his eyes and stared at the chiming clock. _'Midnight.'_ It would be difficult to find someone to kill at this hour.

But, his sand sensed the presence of warm blood outside his door, swerving and whirling in impatience, ready to kill whoever was behind the door.

But, the sand only opened the door to reveal a nervous Temari.

"G-Gaara! I thought you were working." She was worried. She knew that the stress of being a jinchuuriki _and_ the Kazekage was probably straining his mind and body. "Ahhahaha... Ino's so funny. I think she likes you. Ahheheheh..." She didn't know what to say.

Gaara's expression didn't change much. Only his eyes widened a little. _'I'm going to have to avoid that girl.'_ He didn't want to add an annoying pest to his long list of problems.

"Um... I don't think she would make a good wife for you." Temari gave Gaara a smile. "Most likely, she would just go off and get into some sort of trouble. And, it wouldn't be a good idea to tell her about _him_."

"Why are you here, Temari?" Gaara was getting tired of having people telling him to get a wife. He was only fourteen and a half! He was too young to get married.

"I want to talk to you about those two scrolls." Temari took out the two scrolls behind her back. She only had a brief chance to glance through them. And, she only looked through the cons side too.

'_I hope he didn't bring Shikamaru here to kill him. That was what it said inside the scroll. He could kill him anytime he wanted!'_

She was supposed to read the scrolls together. The pros with the cons.

Gaara inwardly sighed. _'I hope she didn't misunderstand what I wrote.'_

"You didn't invite Shikamaru here so you could kill him, did you?"

And, Gaara's eyes widened and he inwardly sighed again. Why did everyone think he was going to kill them?

0o0o0o0

Shikamaru walked down the corridor towards the Kazekage's room. He still needed to meet with the psycho that invited him.

'_I hope he didn't invite me so he can kill me.'_ He would go straight home immediately if it was.

"You didn't invite Shikamaru here so you could kill him, did you?"

Shikamaru's eyes widened. _'That's Temari's voice! But, what's this about someone killing me?'_ He reached into the kunai pouch around his leg and pulled out a kunai for defense.

"No."

'_Why are they talking about killing me?'_ Shikamaru would like to know what they were talking about before he arrived. He was only kidding about someone killing him!

"If that's not why you invited him here, then what is it?" Temari extended the scrolls back to Gaara. "You seem to keep repeating the fact that you can kill him and his friends anytime you want and that he's useless." Her eyes and voice were both very cold. She didn't know that her brother was still like this.

"..." Gaara turned his head towards the door and raised his hand, sending sand through the door to wrap around Shikamaru. It dragged him inside and dropped him in front of Temari. Shikamaru lay in front of Temari spitting sand from his mouth.

"Were you eavesdropping?" Temari's hands ground into tight fists at her sides.

"Che! Why would I be eavesdropping? I came to meet with _him_ to find out why he wanted me to cross a desert to meet him." He held up the invitation letter. "All that it said was that he wanted to meet me. There weren't any details."

Temari took the letter.

_I want to meet you. Come as soon as possible._

_Godaime Kazekage_

'_This is a letter?'_ Temari should have known that Gaara wouldn't waste a formal letter on Shikamaru.

"Did you read the other scroll?" Gaara just wanted to know if Temari read the other scroll. He knew that she probably didn't because if she did, she wouldn't be here convicting him to not kill the Konoha-nin.

"I don't want to know what else you wrote. It's probably worse than the blue scroll." The cons scroll was blue and the pros scroll was red. She had only read the blue scroll.

Gaara opened the red scroll and opened it up to the very end. He held it up for her to see.

And, both Temari and Shikamaru's eyes went wide. _'He's got to be kidding.'_ They both wanted to vomit right then and there, but wouldn't dare to do it since it was Gaara's room.

_Pro: Temari-neechan really likes this boy._

_Pro: He likes her as well._

Then, Gaara opened up the blue scroll to the very end.

And, Temari and Shikamaru's expressions had gotten worse. They both ran out of the room sick of what Gaara was thinking.

_Con:_ _He won't confess this._

_Con: Neither will she._

"I'm not trusting Kankuro to carry on the Sabaku name." Gaara was serious. He wasn't going to let this opportunity slip by. He really didn't want to have children. Even the thought was disgusting.

'_I'm not going to find a wife. I'm only fourteen.'_ Fourteen and a half...but, who was really counting?

**End Chapter 5**

0o0o0o0

**Humourous bickering for those who want to read it; otherwise close the window:**

Sasuke: Good. Sand's not here today. No swirlies.

Gaara: (sends sand forwards, grabs Sasuke by the legs and pulls him into the bathroom) …

Sasuke: Waah!

Kisame: (looks at Fire) Aren't you going to stop him?

Fire: (smiling while hugging Kisame) Stop whom?

Kisame: Gaara.

Fire: You're finally accepting that I'm hugging you!

Kisame: (yelling) I'm not!

Fire: I have no chakra, so you can't use Samehada on me. (smiles)

Sand: (walks in, rubbing eyes) You're loud.

Fire: Sand's back!

Kisame: Make Fire let go of me!

Sand: (stares at Kisame) Why?

Fire: (frowns annoyedly, squeezes Kisame tighter) …

Kisame: (squeaks and falls over) …

repetitive flushing from the bathroom

Fire: Gaara has diarrhea.

Sand: (worried) I'll bring him some medicine. (pulls out a bottle of stomach medicine and a spoon from pockets and walks to the bathroom) Gaara! I brought you some—

Sasuke: Help me! (splutters) Baka!

Sand: (annoyed) What did you say? (stuffs medicine and spoon back into pockets, grabs Sasuke from Gaara's sand and dunks Sasuke's head deep into the toilet for a long time)

Sasuke: Blub.

Fire: (grabs Sasuke back) Sasuke! Don't drown!

Kisame: I'm fr—

Fire: (grabs onto Kisame with one arm) …

Kisame: (wants to cry) Kuso…

Sand: I wasn't done yet.

Baki: Review. I'm just going to say it now. Send us a review and tell us if you want Sand and Gaara to continue giving Sasuke swirlies or not.

Sasuke: Of course not!

Sand: You don't have a say in this.

Sasuke: No!

Fire: Just send us some flames to annoy Sand. Or constructive criticism, lots of constructive criticism! Tell us if you hate it, like it, if you're confused about the plot, what in the world is happening? Waah! (hugs Kisame tighter while squeezing Sasuke's arm with a hand)

Kisame: (unenthusiastic) Yokata. Now I have a mental breakdown hugging me. (stands in silence for a moment with Fire yelling in his ear) We're leaving. (shunshins away with Fire and Sasuke)

Sand: (turns to audience seriously) I'm not going to stop the swirlies on Sasuke whether the flames, reviews or whatever comes my way tells me to or not. Gaara will do the swirlies when I'm not here. Well, ja! (dissolves into literal sand and slithers to find Sasuke)


	6. Crumbling Hope

Sasuke: Ahem. I'm taking over for Gaara. So now I'm Kazekage. (evil laugh)

Kisame: (sneaks up to Sasuke with Samehada held over the Uchiha's head) Now's my chance to kill a kage.

Fire: Isn't that cheating?

Sasuke: Nani? (jumps out of Kisame's way)

Kisame: Arrgh! Fire! Don't ruin my assassination attempts!

Fire: But Sasuke's my cowrit—

Gaara: Who said you can take over for me? (glares at Sasuke)

Sand: So…does this mean that Sasuke's really a secret Sabaku? (thinks) Sabaku no Sasuke?

Sasuke: (yelling) I'm from the Uchiha clan!

Fire: I'm leaving and taking Sasuke and Kisame with me after this chapter so you won't be hearing this from me again.

Gaara: A parting gift. (sand grabs Sasuke and throws him in the washing machine)

Sand: Swirly! (turns on the washing machine)

Fire: Sasuke!

Kisame: It's not called a swirly if it's not in a toilet.

Baki: You don't need the bag? (hold up the Big Bag of Reviews)

Fire: Baka-Baki! Do something!

Baki: …

Kisame: If you open it, it will stop. (tries to open the washing machine)

Gaara: (glares at Kisame, sends sand to whack him away) …

Kisame: (swings Samehada at the sand and eat all of Gaara's chakra in the sand) You think such weak attacks will work on me? (sand falls)

Sand: (throws chakra-less sand in Kisame's eyes) Ha! Take that!

Fire: Waah! Kisame! (runs to Kisame)

Sasuke: Blub… (crawling angrily out of the washing machine) Fire forgot about me!

Sand: Laundry's done! Now time for another spin cy—

Fire: (grabs Sasuke) I'll leave you Baki and the spare Bag of Reviews. I'm leaving! (grabs Kisame and runs clumsily with both men in arms)

Gaara: Fire's too small to hold two big guys like that.

Baki: (holds up the Big Bag of Reviews) Um…

Sand: I already replied to them… Leave me alone.

Baki: (runs away crying) …

Gaara: (splats the chapter onto the screen) …

0o0o0o0

Disclaimer: The word chakra-less was created by Fire and is the property of Fire. It was created with the word chakra and the suffix –less. If you are confused about the meaning of this word, please send a review or PM and Fire will explain it. So mendokuse.

0o0o0o0

Disclaimer: All characters and character personalities in this story belong to Masashi-sensei. Please don't steal them. O.o Okay, all characters and all character personalities belong to Masashi-sensei, but their actions and all dialogue said in this story belong to Sand. Steal them and Gaara will come after you!

0o0o0o0

**Chapter 6: Crumbling Hope**

Kankuro gave up trying to find the spiky, brown-haired shinobi, so he went to look for the meaty shinobi in the kitchen. He wanted some information on the blond Konoha kunoichi.

"So, what's Ino-san like?" He just wanted to know. He certainly wasn't interested in her. He just needed the information for Gaara's potential fiancée list, and Konoha had some of the most beautiful kunoichi Kankuro had ever seen.

"Why do you..._MUNCH MUNCH_...want to know about Ino?" Chouji munched loudly on his food, eyeing his eating guest warily. He was still eating at the dining table long after everyone else left but he wasn't going to share any of _his_ food.

"I just want to know if she's strong. How long did it take for her to become a chuunin? Why does she and Haruno Sakura fight all the time?" Sakura was a potential kunoichi as well…but she was too obsessed with that Uchiha to be a good choice. "What does she like in a guy? Is she a good fighter now?" He only watched her fight once during the chuunin exams a year and a half ago, and she wasn't impressive then, but she could have improved by now.

Kankuro hoped that Chouji didn't notice the question about the guy preference.

"Hmm...Ino is a pretty strong kunoichi in Konoha. We became chuunin together with Sakura-chan. They fight all of the time because they're childhood rivals. And, she's a good fighter." Chouji had to think for a while before answering the oddest question in the odd series of questions.

'_Why does this guy want to know something like that?'_ Chouji hoped Ino didn't end up dating Kankuro as a rebound for Sasuke. He didn't want a guy who fought with him over food to be around him. He had heard what Kankuro was like around hamburgers.

"But, I think she still likes Sasuke." He didn't see any harm in telling Kankuro ALL of these things…especially if it kept him away from his food.

"What's so great about that traitor? He left Konoha for a nukenin." The news about Uchiha Sasuke becoming a nukenin and leaving Konoha for Oto was widely known throughout the hidden villages. His name has also been added to all the bingo books.

"A lot of girls like Sasuke. Ino and Sakura have been two of his largest fans since they were little. He was the reason they became rivals."

'_Chikusho! How am I supposed to compete with someone like Uchiha Sasuke?'_ Kankuro's body broke out into a nervous sweat. He had to do something. _'She's one of his largest fans! What does Uchiha have that I don't?'_

"What does she like about that kuso traitor?" Anger filled Kankuro's body. Just thinking about that arrogant guy made his chakra strings reach for his puppets.

"..." Chouji chewing slowed enough to look at the older shinobi beside him. "Why do you want to know so much about Ino?" He was a glutton, but he wasn't as dense and stupid as people thought he was. "Do you like her?" He could already see it.

Kankuro's face tried to hold back his embarrassment. It was impossible that Chouji could have figured it out. "Wh-what do you mean?" He coughed loudly to clear his throat, hoping that the excuse of accidentally choking on nothing would provide cover for his reddened face. "What do you mean? Me? Like _that_ girl? I think you should cut back on the spinach."

'_What does spinach have to do with anything?'_ Chouji actually overheard Kankuro's loud ostracizing of the green vegetable earlier. _'And, it seems Ino is attracting strange people again.'_ Ino was one of the prettier kunoichi in Konoha as well. And, her fanclub was more than moderate in size.

"If you like her, you should try being nicer." Chouji knew that Kankuro tended to be a bully, but he could be a nice guy when he tried. At least this was what Shikamaru told him. Chouji hoped it was true. _'Then I can take his hamburgers!'_

"What do you mean? I'm always nice." Kankuro just liked to _play_ with others. He wasn't really _bullying_ them. "I'm going. You're no help." He needed to find the spiky, brown-haired shinobi for further information.

Unfortunately, he couldn't find Shikamaru anywhere.

0o0o0o0

Shikamaru wanted to leave Suna as soon as possible. But, first he had to find his teammates. _'Kuso... Where is Ino?'_ He didn't have to worry about his stout friend. He was in the kitchen and wouldn't mind allowing him to eat a little more, especially if it meant he could find him easily later. But he couldn't find his loud, nerve-grating teammate at all. She wasn't inside her room, and he certainly wasn't going to check Temari's room.

'_Aitsume…why did he have to drag me all the way here just to set me up with his sister?'_ But it was strange. Temari didn't seem to know about this plan either.

"Uggh... Mendokuse!" He didn't care that his teammates were going to complain about leaving early. He just wanted to leave right now...or crawl into a cave somewhere and hide forever.

0o0o0o0

Temari had to get out of Suna as soon as possible. She wanted a mission in Konoha or some other hidden village, but the thought of Konoha appeared in her head only brought up the image of Shikamaru.

"Argh! Baka Gaara! Why did he have to be so overly observant?" Her face radiated deep red. She couldn't even fool herself with the effort of her search. The memory of what had happened earlier was too strong.

_Pro: He likes her as well_

_Con: He won't confess this_

"Who taught Gaara these sneaky tactics!" Temari threw a chair at the wall, effectively smashing it to pieces. If she found him, she was going to kill him!

Her room looked like she had invited a hurricane to stay a while, just to make sure everything was nicely decimated.

"Temari-chan..." There was light knocking on the door. The shaky voice was unsure whether to go in or not. The sound of breaking furniture wasn't very inviting.

"..." Temari stopped her rampage to take a look around and sighed before opening the door. "Ino?" Green eyes met blue eyes.

Ino had one hand clasped around her arm while her eyes stared down to the ground. "Ano..." But her fear completely dissipated with one glance around Temari's demolished room. "Eh! What happened here? Did someone try to attack you?"

Temari didn't know what to say. She couldn't say that she was venting her frustration on her room because of what Gaara wrote about her and Shikamaru. If she told the blond kunoichi, everyone in Konoha and Suna would be in an uproar, preparing for a large scale wedding.

It was a long distance relationship that had been going on under everyone's noses for a year and a half. Well, sort of a long distance relationship. But they didn't really say nor do anything to declare their relationship as something like _that_.

It wouldn't be a surprise to everyone in Konoha if the two got married, but the news about Shikamaru in Suna wasn't as widespread. It would be a big shock, but no one would mind. It was advantageous to the two villages if they did get married. The elders were certainly against her. The relations between the two villages could become stronger, and only for the low price of a strong kunoichi going to a lazy shinobi.

And all of Shikamaru's hard work on quelling the rumours during the past few months would've gone to waste. Lately, the other chuunin have been telling him to ask the blond Suna-nin out or at least make it official that they were _dating_.

"..." Temari just realized that her room was worse than Gaara's. She was in such a rage that she didn't even notice what she was doing. "Uh... Yeah, I was...attacked."

"By how many shinobi? A hundred?" Ino knew that the room was too beat up to have had only one or two assassins. "You could've called for help!"

The elder kunoichi stared at the Konoha-nin for a moment, wondering what she was doing there before actually asking. "Ino, what do you want?" Temari wanted to get rid of the blond kunoichi and start cleaning up before anyone else came into her embarrassingly mangled room.

"I only came to ask...what does Kazekage-sama think about me?"

Temari backed away a step at the words, unsure whether to give her friend the truth or a white lie. "I don't know." Actually she did know. He wrote it down in the cons scroll. "And, I don't think you should ask him. He'd probably just answer with nothing." Or kill her.

'_Nothing?'_ Ino didn't know that the guy was so quiet. _'But that other guy could have more information about the redhead.'_

Ino's eyes rounded in realization, her head shaking fervently to fling the thought out of her head. "No! I don't want to ask him!" She was referring to her plan B. She really hated plan B.

Temari wondered confusedly what Ino was talking about. It looked like just she had a weird thought about Gaara and was now freaking out over the outcome.

Of course, Ino was far from doing something as bold as asking Gaara himself.

Ino sighed heavily before walking dejectedly towards the door. "Arigatou, Temari-chan." She really didn't want to ask _him_ about the Kazekage.

However, Temari was glad to have Ino around for a short while. It got her mind off what Gaara had said earlier. But it was coming back now. "Arrgh! Why did he do that!"

0o0o0o0

Kankuro sighed heavily as he walked down the corridor. _'Teme! Who talked behind my back, making me sneeze so many times?'_ He had started to sneeze uncontrollably after leaving the kitchen.

He sighed again when he couldn't find the spiky-haired chuunin in his room. But, his spirits were going to be lifted soon. He just knew it!

And he was right.

Ino was too absorbed in her thoughts to notice where she was going and literally bumped into Kankuro. But because of their major weight and size difference, Ino was the only one knocked down.

"Haaaah... Watch where you're going, baka! It was like walking into a brick wall!" Ino didn't get a good look at who she bumped into. She was just annoyed because the person didn't help her up.

'_Brick...wall..._' Kankuro didn't like being called names, especially since he was the one usually saying them.

"Who are you calling a brick wall, walking stick?" Kankuro's hands flew up to cover his mouth. He really didn't want to say that, but it was too late. His mouth moved and sound came out before his brain could intervene.

'_A walking stick!'_ A dark and ominous aura formed behind Ino, lighting her with a black fire. _'Unforgivable!'_

"Y—"

But before Ino could let out a single word, Shikamaru came running with a fire extinguisher and foamed her. Then, he picked up the white puff with its long, blond ponytail and ran past Kankuro towards the kitchen, leaving a dazed and confused Kankuro.

Kankuro stared blankly in the direction the two Konoha-nin had run. "Arrgh!" He punched the wall to his side in an effort to relieve his frustration… "Why did I say that? Now, she'll dislike me even more!" …and, continued on his way to his room.

But around the corner, a shadowed face peered in with his uncovered eye. _'Something strange is happening...'_ The shadow turned around to leave. _'Well, better not get involv—' _But, it was greeted by a pair of light green eyes.

"Baki, come." The monotonous voice wrapped around Baki's mind and forced him to obey.

The green-eyed redhead scribbled something down before walking back to his office.

0o0o0o0

Ino wiped some foam out of her eyes to see who had doused her with a fire extinguisher. "Baka Shikamaru? What are you doing?" She wanted to know why he sprayed her and why he was carrying her.

After struggling for some time and almost making him fall over, she forced him to put her down.

"It's too mendokuse to explain to you. All you need to know is that we're leaving now." Shikamaru dragged the protesting Ino by the arm with him in the direction of the kitchen.

"Agh...did you get into some trouble with Kazekage-sama? Why are we leaving so soon?" Ino knew that Shikamaru had a legitimate reason for them leaving so soon. They had arrived only a few hours ago and they were already leaving. She wasn't even able to put any of her moves on the redheaded Kazekage.

Shikamaru's face burned red. What Ino said reminded Shikamaru of what happened earlier.

_Pro: Temari-neechan really likes this boy._

_Pro: He likes her as well._

Shikamaru was careful to make sure Ino didn't see his face. If she did, she would go off into wild allegations of what happened and who did what with whom.

_Con:_ _He won't confess this._

_Con: Neither will she._

Shikamaru's pace quickened, his grip on Ino's arm tightening. "Ahh...mendokuse." He was giving Ino his usual response to most of her questions. He wanted to shake off this topic.

Unfortunately, it wasn't working.

"What do you mean it's too troublesome? You're making me leave _now_? When I'm in the middle of trying to catch something?"

Shikamaru sighed in defeat. He might as well tell her the truth so she wouldn't make a _complete_ fool of herself.

"Kazekage-sama has no interest in you. He finds you annoying and loud." That was a little too direct and blunt, but there was no way around it. He could have said Gaara doesn't find her the least bit attractive and wouldn't make a move on her even if she was the last female creature in the known universe. But it wouldn't be any less of the truth. He decided that the blunt and direct words were better. At least she wouldn't take it the wrong way and continue to chase after him. She could accidentally kill herself.

Ino was shocked speechless. Her mind went into a complete blank as Shikamaru continued pulling her after him.

'_Masaka.'_

Everything around her faded into the background.

'_First Sasuke-kun calls me annoying.'_

Her eyes deadened and her shoulders slumped at the memory.

'_Now, Kazekage-sama thinks I'm annoying.'_

Her mind concocted several instances where she could have given him the impression of being annoying and loud. There were also images of when she was like that around Sasuke-kun.

Then, her eyes livened and she regained her composure.

'_There is no way that he hates me!'_ Ino snapped out of her spell and wrenched her arm free. "Masaka! What do you mean he finds me annoying and loud? And that he has no interest in me? What do you know!" Ino ran down the opposite direction of the hall back to Temari's room. She didn't want to see or talk to any of the guys. They knew nothing! Gaara didn't hate her!

'_Baka Shikamaru! Meanie! I just want a cool and handsome boyfriend. Is that too much to ask?'_ She thought for a moment before deciding that she was right. _'Baka! What do you mean an IQ of over 200!'_

Shikamaru sighed before running after his teammate. She was probably thinking that he was lying about his IQ.

**End Chapter 6**

0o0o0o0

**Mindless drabble from Sand:**

Ino: (shouts) Gaara hates me! That's not possible!

Kankuro: (contemplating) Handsome boyfriend? So…what do you mean by handsome?

Gaara: Not you.

Kankuro: … (annoyed) I'm handsome.

Gaara: To puppets.

Kankuro: Plenty of girls like me.

Gaara: Puppet girls don't count.

Ino: (cries) Noooooooo! Kazekage-dono! Don't hate me! (thinks) He's going to kill me…

Gaara: … (sweatdrops and thinks) I forgot she was here.

Sand: (runs up wheezing and breathing heavily) Did I miss anything!

Gaara: Kankuro said he was ugly.

Sand: (nodding head in agreement) That's so true.

Kankuro: I didn't say that! I said that I'm the handsomest guy in the Narutoverse! (mumbles to self) In fact, it should be called the Kankuroverse…

Gaara and Sand: (thinks) He's delusional…or the make-up on his face finally seeped into his brain.

Ino: (cries) Please review… (sobs) I only want a handsome, strong, rich, bishounen boyfriend. (tears streaming down face) Is that too much to ask?

Everyone: (says in unison) Yes!

Sand: Review and maybe Gaara will reply since Fire is pressuring me for the next chapter. (tears streaming down face) If Gaara is in a good mood…

Gaara: No stupid reviews.

Kankuro: Just tell Ino that she should be with someone handsome like me.

Gaara: That's a stupid review.

Kankuro: Send them in anyway!


	7. Matchmaker

What happened…

Sand: (being pulled in front of the window by Gaara) Stop pulling me!

Gaara: (narrows eyes at Sand) …

Sand: (sighs and waves hand limply) Hai, hai. Gomen, gomen for not posting this chapter sooner. No excuses. Was in a writers block.

Gaara: You're lazy.

Sand: Urusai! Go find Fire and put Fire out with a swirly.

Gaara: (dissolves into sand and shunshins away) …

Ino: (grabbing the review window from Baki) What do you mean go out with Kankuro? He's too ugly!

Kankuro: I'm not ugly! And I'm way stronger than Gaara. (Gaara's sand smacks Kankuro in the face) O.O;; Uh…I mean almost as strong as Gaara. (Gaara's sand smacks Kankuro in the face) o.o;;; Well, at least I'm stronger than Temari.

Temari: (hits Kankuro in the head with her fan) He's too stupid to go out with.

Ino: (nodding her head) Obviously…

Sand: (sweatdrops and ignores what everyone's saying in the background) Okay, the story's going to get crazier. So, bear with it. I'm gonna go Sasuke-hunting now. I'm also currently in a Neji-hunt. If you want to join, grab a net. (points at the bundle of fish nets in a corner of the window) Well, here's the next chapter. (slaps the chapter onto the window and runs into Otogakure)

0o0o0o0

**Chapter 7: Matchmaker**

Baki wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not, but he didn't have the right to lecture the Kazekage about what he should and shouldn't do. "Kazekage-sama, you look..." Baki turned away for a second. He was trying to hide his reddening face. _'Chikusho! How am I supposed to say this to him? He'll kill me!'_ "...nice." At best, this was the only appropriate and unoffensive thing that came to mind.

Gaara looked at his mirror's reflection. _'I didn't think this was possible.'_ He finished his sand disguise. _'I think I'm being over influenced by Uzumaki Naruto.'_ A solemn sigh escaped his partially open lips at the thought. The idea of becoming Naruto was devastating.

When Gaara opened the door, saying _a lot_ of people turned their heads to stare was an understatement. Everyone froze, the sound of items dropping to the ground sounding. Hushed voices and strange stares fixed on Gaara as he made his way down the hallway towards Temari's room. He knew she wouldn't be anywhere else. She had to fix her room after destroying it.

'_My plan is working a little too well. I hope no one recognizes me.'_ Then, he adjusted his sand mask and had the sand lift his dress a little so he wouldn't trip over it.

0o0o0o0

Temari was consoling the stressed Ino while trying to clean her room. "That baka was being idiotic when he said that you were annoying and loud." Temari knew that those were words you should never tell a friend let alone a girl. But it was the truth. Shikamaru's insights were too accurate.

And insulting him was like insulting Kankuro. The words were too similar.

Temari sighed as she tried to listen to Ino's complaints, opinions and point of views. At least when she listened, she could ignore the fact that Gaara was pressuring her into a relationship with Shikamaru. _'Arrgh! There must be better ways to increase relations between our villages!'_ Listening to Ino suddenly wasn't working.

Fortunately, there was a knock at the door to save Temari from screaming aloud.

Temari and Ino gawked at the unknown visitor. The face wasn't even remotely familiar.

'_Maybe she lost her way and went to the wrong room?'_ Their minds simultaneously tried to find a reason for this strange girl bundled in cloaks being at Temari's door. _'She's pretty.'_

'_She seems very familiar...' _Temari thought as she stared at those light green eyes. _'Maybe it's one of the girls that Kankuro or Baki is trying to set Gaara up with.'_

But Ino's thoughts went in a different direction. She glared annoyedly at the new girl. This girl, who came out of nowhere, was prettier, taller _and_ curvier than her! _'I haven't seen her around here. Who is—'_ Ino's eyes widened as the thought formed in her mind. _'Maybe she's the Kazekage's girlfriend!' _Depression filled Ino. That meant she didn't even have a chance of snagging him.

'_I can't believe Temari can't recognize me in this disguise.'_ Gaara wasn't sure whether to be proud or insulted by this outcome. He had simply followed Baki's instructions on the behaviour and appearance so he could go undercover and get Temari together with Shikamaru. Failure wouldn't be tolerated!

"Konnichiwa! Nakoudo-des. I lost my way and I must have gone to the wrong room," Gaara said with the cheery female voice that he had perfected with Baki's help. But he was still going to hurt him later. However, that annoying, airheaded voice was enough to draw the two blond kunoichi's interest. They wouldn't let an opportunity like this slip by. They were too easy to read. He knew of their intentions from the beginning. It was easy to infiltrate Temari's room.

"Matchmaker?" Both girls raised a suspicious eyebrow. _'She doesn't look like one.'_ Although the idea of having a matchmaker in the palace for Gaara made sense, both girls had the image of an old woman somewhat similar to Chiyo in their minds, not a young girl like this, who was much more suited to be Gaara's bride than Gaara's matchmaker.

"Hontou, hontou ni gomen nasai! For interrupting you, I'll give you both a free matchmaking session!" The girl smiled brightly.

Gaara's masked voice wasn't particularly high. In fact, it was close to his original voice, just higher by a couple notes, which scared him over the fact that Temari still didn't realize that it was her little brother. _'Do I really sound like a girl?' _Or it was the way he was saying it...

Temari looked warily at her sudden visitor. This was too suspicious. "I don't need a match—"

But Ino wanted the free matchmaker session. And it was free! "Kyaa! Free? Really?" Her hands had already wrapped around the matchmaker's arm and half-dragged her into Temari's room before the elder kunoichi could finish refusing.

Gaara groaned inwardly. _'This is too easy.'_ So easy that it was ominously scary. He hoped he wasn't burying himself in a hole.

0o0o0o0

After ten minutes, a dark figure with long blond hair was huddled in the shady corner of the room, her arms around her legs. "I...don't match Sasuke-kun. I don't match Kazekage-sama." Devastation hit her as soon as she heard that her match was someone unexpected and older.

'_This matchmaker is suspicious,'_ Temari thought as she watched the matchmaker. This person probably leaned of Gaara's reputation before she came, and had heard of Sasuke's reputation from travel. She probably deduced that Ino was inappropriate for both with the information she had gathered. But who was this unexpected, older guy? _'Maybe I can catch this fraud in the act.'_ Temari's face darkened with a malicious plan.

"There are a few questions that I want you to answer," Temari said slyly.

"..." Gaara wasn't going to allow his observations go to waste. He knew he could easily answer all of Temari's questions without fail.

"Who does Sakura-chan like?"

"Uchiha Sasuke." This answer was obvious. "But he doesn't like her."

"Who does Naruto like?"

"Haruno Sakura." This was obvious too. "But she doesn't like him."

"Who does Hinata-chan like?" Temari knew that the matchmaker wouldn't know who Hinata was.

"Uzumaki Naruto." But Gaara was more observant than Temari gave him credit for. "But he would never notice her."

"..." Temari was momentarily fazed. "Who does Asuma-sensei like?"

"Kurenai-sensei." Gaara was getting bored. He was just recounting his observations. "And she likes him too."

"..." Temari was irked. This girl couldn't possibly be a _real_ matchmaker! "Who does Shikamaru like?"

"..." Gaara didn't want to answer that question. It was like admitting the truth about the relationship between his sister and a lazy chuunin.

"He likes several people. But in terms of _that_ way, he likes you." Gaara wanted to dissolve into his sand and disappear.

But if he did that, he would expose his cover.

"..." Temari's eyes narrowed at the matchmaker. _'This nakoudo-san is very accurate. Too accurate. How does she know all of these people?'_ These accurate readings were too suspicious. It was like talking to a kitsune…or a tanuki.

0o0o0o0

Shikamaru's head was pressed against the door, his eyes widening in surprise as the female voice brought news of who like Temari. _'Ah...mendokuse.'_ He scratched his head as he moved away from the door. _'I need to find a way to get Ino out without them knowing I need to leave Suna.'_

"Shi—"

Shikamaru quickly clamped Chouji's mouth shut before his cover could be blown. "Shh...!" He didn't want the people inside to know that he was listening. The girls would do horrible things to him!

Then an idea struck Shikamaru.

0o0o0o0

A light knock rapped on Temari's door.

Temari pushed the door open, just enough to peer out. "Chouji?" She knew she had heard correctly. That was Chouji's voice, but it sounded like he was trying to call out to someone a moment ago. "What are you doing here?"

"..." Chouji's body broke out in cold sweat. "I...need to…talk to Ino." He wasn't sure about this plan…but Shikamaru was supposed to be a genius. And even a crazy genius under pressure could make up good plans, right?

"_Yosh! Chouji, you're going to infiltrate that room and find out what they're talking about." Shikamaru knew there was something going on inside that room. He just didn't know what it was._

"_But..." Chouji thought apprehensively of the simple mission given to him by his friend. "It's Temari-san's room." He didn't want to barge into someone else's room without her permission. "Wouldn't it be easier if you went in?" _

_Shikamaru knew Temari better than Chouji, and it made sense to send in the one with more familiarity. They don't even use honourifics when addressing one another! However... "We're avoiding each other...for a while." Shikamaru sounded like he had a fight with the jounin and now they were no longer talking to each other. Like a fight between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. His face flushed at the thought._

'_Shikamaru and Temari-san always argue. They must have had a really large fight this time,' Chouji thought as he gave his friend a smile and nodded his head. He couldn't abandon Shikamaru when he needed his help. "Daijoubou. I'll get into that room."_

Chouji waited for Temari to send out Ino so that the three could leave, but Temari wasn't turning into her room. The Suna-kunoichi only looked at Chouji with a strange look in her eyes. _'I'm going to expose that matchmaker for a fraud.'_ And Chouji was just the right person that she needed for her plan!

"Talk to her inside." Temari pulled a confused Chouji inside her room and slammed the door shut before Chouji could stop her.

Shikamaru fell out of hiding as Chouji disappeared. _'Kuso. I was so sure that this plan would work.'_ He forgot to calculate the mystery person into his plan. He didn't know who it was and had assumed it was only one of Temari's friends.

So, he made a miscalculation again.

'_Gomen, Chouji.'_ He was probably never going to see him again. Chouji had disappeared into a room full of girls. Who knew what kind of torture they were putting him through?

0o0o0o0

After a few minutes, Chouji floated out with a look of utmost bliss on his face. But he didn't have Ino with him.

"Oi! Daijoubou? What happened? Chouji! Oi!" Shikamaru was trying to snap his friend out of whatever spell he was under. But it wasn't working.

"Shikamaru..." Chouji was smiling contentedly. "There was a _really_ pretty matchmaker inside." He didn't even notice the creepy light green eyes.

"Matchmaker?" Shikamaru was somewhat confused. _'What's a matchmaker doing inside Temari's room?'_ It didn't make any sense. He didn't remember any news of a matchmaker being in the Kazekage Palace.

But he had been here for a while.

And it was the Kazekage Palace. Strange things occurred within these walls.

"Oi! What did that matchmaker say to you?" Curiosity filled Shikamaru as his mind failed to recall anything on the topic. _'What did that matchmaker say to give Chouji that expression?'_ It was the same mindless expression that Ino had when Sasuke was still around.

"She said that I will find a girlfriend in the near future." Chouji's smile grew wider. "And she said that I was going to get stronger."

Shikamaru's mind numbed. _'G-g-girlfriend!'_ He understood the part about getting stronger, but a girlfriend? He refused to believe it.

Of course, he didn't doubt his friend's abilities to attract girls. He was a nice guy. But when the word 'girlfriend' came to Shikamaru's mind. Gaara's words really struck him hard again.

_Pro: Temari-neechan really likes this boy._

_Pro: He likes her as well._

Shikamaru's eyes blanked at the memory. _'Chikusho! Why am I thinking about something as troublesome as that?'_

_Con:_ _He won't confess this._

_Con: Neither will she._

It wasn't like he was going to act on anything. He really didn't think of Temari _that_ way. It was only Gaara's wishful thinking.

At least this was what Shikamaru wanted to believe.

**End Chapter 7**

0o0o0o0

Sand's Report:

Gaara: (gives Sand a death glare) Why am I a girl?

Sand: You should be happy I didn't make you do orioke no jutsu. (smiles)

Gaara: (shivers at Sand's smile) …

Sand: Besides… Chou-kawaii! (grabs Gaara and hugs him)

Gaara: (dissolves into sand and moves away from Sand) …

Temari: Gaara, have you seen where Nakoudo-san went?

Gaara: …

Chouji: Does that matchmaker have a guarantee to what she said?

Gaara: …

Shikamaru: (stares at Gaara) … (thinks:This guy was _that_ girl. I still don't believe it.)

Naruto: What girl? (turns to Gaara) Have you seen this cute girl, Gaara?

Gaara: (sweatdrops) No.

Sand: (stares at Gaara) …

Naruto: Temari, introduce this girl to me! I want to meet her!

Temari: (turns to Naruto) S---

Gaara: (interrupts Temari) No.

Naruto: (cries) Waah! Gaara, bakayaro, why can't I meet her? You haven't even seen her face!

Shikamaru: Don't get me involved in this. (leaves)

Temari: This story's about you too, baka! (runs after Shikamaru)

Chouji: I need more food. (goes to Sand's kitchen)

Gaara: …

Sand: Of course Gaara has seen her face. He's even _met_ her before. They have a lot of things in common. (snickers)

Gaara: (sand within gourd starts to swirl) …

Sand: You want to kill me? Huh? Do ya? You can't because I'm Sand! Mwuahahahahahahaha…

Gaara: (ignores Sand, throws Naruto out the window before he could ask anymore annoying questions and turns towards the audience) No stupid reviews asking for a picture of me in a girl's outfit or I'll kill you!

Sand: (hugs Gaara) That's not a nice thing to say. Just review. The Neji and Sasuke hunts will start next chapter.

Naruto: (shouting from outside the window) I'll catch Sasuke before you do! I already have a net!


	8. Revelation

Sand filling up the window…

Sand: (punches air enthusiastically) Let the Sasuke and Neji hunt begin!

Gaara: (turns head to look at the corner of window) …

Sasuke: (hides quickly) Whew… I don't think he saw m---

Gaara: (sends sand to wrap around Sasuke) …(then sends sand the other way) …

Neji: (jumps out of hiding spot as Gaara's sand gets close) Che! That psycho found me?

Sand: (jumps at Neji with a crazy look) NNNNNNeeeeeejjjjjjjjjiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! I want your head!

Neji: O.O;;;

Naruto: (cries) Waah! I want to catch Sasuke! Gaara!

Gaara: (ignores Naruto and everyone else around him) … (continues to try to squish Sasuke with a sand hand)

Sand: Gaara! You're supposed to catch him not kill him! (thinks) No matter how much I want him dead… (throws fish net at Neji) Got---

Neji: Kaiten! (spins then runs out of the window)

Sand: ---cha? (gets caught by a fish net)

Gaara: (divides sand hand into sand tentacles) …Uchiha…Sasuke. (narrows eyes)

Sand: At least let me give him a swirly before you kill him.

Sasuke: O.O Nani? (dodges Gaara's sand tentacles)

Fire: Hey! Don't kill my cowriter! (grabs Sasuke and runs away)

Shikamaru: (ignores whatever's going on in the background) Ah…mendokuse. (uses Kage Shibari no Jutsu to pull up chapter)

0o0o0o0

**Chapter 8: Revelation**

Kankuro was going insane within his room. He had to think of a way to make Ino like him. But he could only think about trying to look cool like Sasuke. Ino liked Sasuke. It was a safe choice.

'_Maybe if I changed my hair?'_ He took off his hood...

And his hair was messy, needed a wash and was a little too long. He was so used to wearing his hood that he didn't even notice his hair growing longer…especially since he didn't even take his hood off when he slept.

So after a shower, Kankuro looked at himself in the mirror. Without his kabuki makeup and hood, he looked… _'I don't look that bad.'_ He was actually quite good looking.

So after combing his hair and having Karasu cut it somewhat shorter, he inspected himself in the mirror again.

'_Maybe it's the makeup?'_ He looked at his dresser where his makeup was located. _'Does this mean I'll have to see her without my makeup?'_ But he felt more confident with his makeup on.

However, it was a sacrifice he had to make.

So, with one final glance at the hoodless, makeup-less face in the mirror…

'_I look so normal,'_ Kankuro sighed.

…he left his room.

'_I hope she doesn't hate me.'_ And he walked down the hall towards Ino's room.

0o0o0o0

Temari shook with the memory of words she had heard only a few moments ago. _'Isn't she supposed to be a matchmaker? Why does she sound like a fortune teller?'_

_Chouji had to quickly place his hand on the wall to maintain his balance, or fall down as Temari pulled him into her room. Unfortunately, even with his hand on the wall, there wasn't anything to hold him up, so he fell down anyway._

_Gaara stared at the fallen Chouji. "..." His expression was unreadable, but he forced a slightly unsuccessful smile. 'What is Temari trying to do?' He wasn't going to let Temari expose him for a fraud. If he smiled, she wouldn't think something was wrong._

_Chouji raised his head as he noticed the shadow in front of him, and his face blushed instantly. 'What a cute girl.' His thoughts were so caught up by the presence of the matchmaker that he didn't even notice the light green eyes boring into him._

'_Chouji, baka!' Chouji's loud fall drew Ino's crestfallen attention from the corner. She watched disinterestedly. There was nothing else to do until they got rid of this fat interruption._

_But the fiendish look filling Temari's face said otherwise. "Nakoudo-san, please tell us. Who would be Chouji-kun's girlfriend?"_

'_Girlfriend!' Chouji didn't know what was going on but he knew not to ask in this thick atmosphere. 'What's going on?' All that he knew was that it looked like a showdown between Temari and the cute matchmaker._

"_..." Gaara didn't know what to say. He rarely observed the actions of the portly shinobi. All there were, were memories of his eating. He needed to improvise and give an estimation._

_So, he said the first thought that came to mind._

"_He will find a girlfriend in the near future, but her name and features are unknown. He will also get stronger." Gaara mentally hit himself in the head for saying that. What he said didn't go with his character._

_He was a matchmaker, not a fortune teller._

_A smile formed on Chouji's face at what the matchmaker had said. He knew his efforts would pay off eventually._

_However, Temari was far from happy. She was growing more irritated by this matchmaker. Everything that this fraud had said made sense and was absolutely correct. So, she couldn't say anything about the legitimacy of this matchmaker's words, including what she said about whom Shikamaru liked._

_Temari turned towards the happily spaced out Chouji. "Don't you have something to say to Ino?" He was here to talk to the sulking blond._

_However, Chouji was in so much bliss that he completely forgot what Shikamaru told him to do. And this annoyed Temari even more, causing her to kick Chouji out of her room._

"Would you like to hear about your relationship with this Nara Shikamaru?" Gaara's face was unreadable even with his disguise. But he inwardly smirked.

The words disgusted Temari. "I don't have any relationship with that teme." She wasn't going to let this matchmaker trap her. She was a Sabaku after all.

"You are only friends?" Gaara was pushing Temari. And he knew that with enough force, he could get her to reveal some useful information.

"Yeah! We're just friends! So stop talking to me about that guy!" Temari's voice was uncomfortable. She didn't like how this conversation had turned in this direction.

"But there's potential for a relationship between more than _just_ friends." By the expression on his sister's face, Gaara knew he had found something.

'_Kuso... Who is this person? Her observational skills are even sharper than Gaara's.'_ Unfortunately, the thought of Gaara being the matchmaker couldn't even form in Temari's mind much less form in her imagination.

Ino sighed as she rose from the ground. She didn't want to hear about something like that. It was a personal topic, and since Temari was her friend, she felt like she should respect the elder kunoichi's privacy.

But Shikamaru was also her friend. And he should know about something as important as this.

So, the blond kunoichi sank into a dilemma.

"Ino," Temari got a headache from Ino's pacing. "Can you leave?" She was going to kill this matchmaker. She wasn't going to let someone who knew so much about her personal life walk away alive.

Her hand was already reaching for her fan.

And Gaara was ready to counter the attack. He _was_ surrounded by his sand after all.

Ino only nodded her head. She was only a guest inside Temari's room.

0o0o0o0

Kankuro sighed as he turned to leave. Ino wasn't in her room. _'And I was so ready too.'_ So, he decided to go down to Temari's room for some advice on what to do. His sister would definitely help him. It was the first time he actually thought to ask her about something like this.

0o0o0o0

Ino walked dejectedly and wobbly towards the door. And just as she walked out, she found herself hitting something hard and flying backwards.

Kankuro didn't know what had hit him. His eyes were closed when he was about to knock on Temari's door. _'It felt like I was hit by a walking stick.'_ All that he knew was that his hand met air and something hit him. Then his body moved of its own accord before he even realized what he was doing.

In a single millisecond, everyone's eyes widened at the shocking image of Kankuro hugging Ino in Temari's doorway.

He had successfully caught what had hit him.

The problem was that it was Ino.

Ino's mind blanked. Her body was in too much shock to realize what was happening. _'Wh-wh-what's going on?'_ Ino didn't know who was hugging her. All that she knew was that it was like being hugged by a huge bear, causing a blush to creep across her face.

Gaara didn't expect this to happen. His eyes widened in full irritation. _'Baka.' _Kankuro was ruining his plans!

Temari didn't know what was going on. She just knew that it was like something out of one of Kankuro's television soap operas. _'I wonder if Kankuro's going to kiss her now?'_ Then Temari thought on that for a minute and concluded. _'No. He will probably miss out on this chance. That baka!'_

Chouji and Shikamaru were still standing around the corner. Their mouths literally hit the floor after seeing Ino bump into Kankuro, then getting hugged by him. It was a scene that neither of them thought that they would ever see their teammate get herself into.

'_Ino...and Kankuro? Since when did they become so intimate?'_ Chouji didn't know that his teammate was attracting strange guys again.

'_Ah...mendokuse.'_ Shikamaru knew that the older shinobi had his eyes set out on his loud teammate. It was just too troublesome to do anything about it. Especially since he still had his own problems to deal with.

'_Aw... Kuso...'_ Kankuro cursed within his head. _'What did I get myself into this time?'_ His cursing continued for the rest of the silence.

The silence that hung in the air seemed to last for seconds…before Ino let out a heart stopping, high-pitched scream.

**End Chapter 8**

0o0o0o0

Sand everywhere:

Sand: Fire-teme… Why did Fire have to take Sasuke away? (mumbles to self) I was only going to give him a swirly or two and a wedgie and a wet-willy. (goes off into Sasuke-torturing fantasy mode)

Baki: Kazekage-sama? Why were you smiling at Chouji? (tries to hide the blush on his face)

Gaara: (narrows eyes at Baki) …

Baki: Uh…nevermind. (slowly backs away and leaves)

Ino: Why is that oaf hugging me!

Kankuro: I'm not an oaf! I'm a very skilled and intelligent Suna-nin. You should be grateful to even be allowed to touch me!

Ino: Why would I want to touch you? You're slimy and disgusting.

Kankuro: I'm very clean! Don't get me mixed up with him! (points at Shino)

Shino: Bugs aren't slimy or disgusting. They're cleaner than most pets.

Akamaru: Gggrrrrrr… Bark! Bark!

Kiba: Akamaru is very clean! What are you talking about, Shino! And Akamaru is not my pet! He's my partner! Partner!

Hinata: Ano…minna…

(Everyone turns to look at Hinata)

Hinata: Ah.! (blushes and starts to fiddle with fingers) Uh…um…

Kankuro: Say it already! We're all waiting!

Temari: Baka! (whacks Kankuro in the head with her fan) Stop being noisy!

Hinata: Has anyone seen Neji-niisan?

Everyone: He's missing? O.o;

Hinata: He was out meditating last night and didn't come home.

(Everyone turns to Sand)

Sand: What? I didn't do anything. He certainly isn't in any of my Neji traps.

Everyone: (thinks and sweatdrops) Neji traps…?

Sand: He's probably out training with his team somewhere…or hiding from me.

Lee: Neji-kun is not with us. His youthfulness has not been seen since last morning during training.

Everyone: (thinks) It sounds like he's dead.

Sand: Chotto…matte… I think I know where he is! (runs out of window)

Neji: Kuso! How did you find me? (frantically thinks of a possible reason for Sand to be here, then turns to Naruto) Naruto…

Naruto: Sand bought me a whole case of chasu ramen and miso ramen. (slurps up a stream of ramen noodles)

Sand: Neji! (tries to hug Neji's head)

Neji: O.O (dodges and runs away again)

Sand: Chotto! I only want your head! You can keep it attached to your body if you want!

Gaara: (ignores the loud arguments in the background) Review. No stupid reviews about a cute female me or sand will fill up your screen. (turns to look at everyone) … (thinks) It's too noisy here. (dissolves into sand and waterfalls out of the window)


End file.
